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Open Poetry #49
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Gale
Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578
Russia

0 posted 2014-11-13 04:06 PM



You were afraid of my love in vain
It’s not so awful, my love
Your smile was my sun in the heaviest rain
It made me happy enough

And if you walked with another girl
Or spent your time in another place
Your coat was hanging here on the wall
I thanked the sky for the grace

When, our guest, you left after all
For a better fate far away you sought
It was my comfort: the nail in the wall
Remained after your coat

.

The flow of days, the rustle of years
Snowflakes after raindrops fall
The worst event has occurred here –
The nail was pulled from the wall

The mist and the wind, and the raindrops fall
My days flow away, and my years pass
I felt quite happy, there’s left a hole
Reminding me of the past

And when the hole was hidden away
One day by old house-painter’s hand
I was content, ‘cause the trace of the nail
Was visible yesterday

.

You were afraid of my love in vain
It’s not so awful, my love
Your smile brought the sun in the heaviest rain
And I was happy enough

And caught in the wind a magic blend:
The cry of violins, the brass of drums
But what I take from the sky so glum
I doubt you can understand

.

01/11/2014

.

https://soundcloud.com/galina-italyanskaya/the-girl-from-the-tavern
____________________________________________

It's my new translation, the song by Novella Matveeva.
I've sung and recorded the original version too:
https://soundcloud.com/galina-italyanskaya/gdi5w3ckvale

© Copyright 2014 Galina Italyanskaya - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
1 posted 2014-11-13 06:36 PM


Naw . . . We guys can't understand the nuances of life . . . We are brain dead mostly.

If they give you ruled paper write sideways.

Gale
Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578
Russia
2 posted 2014-11-13 06:40 PM


Jerry, I don't know about all men...
Maybe that particular guy? )

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
3 posted 2014-11-13 09:57 PM


Very nice write, my friend . . . longing and nostalgic as memories of long-ago love tends to be, felt in this piece.

Within reason, we all walk in a somewhat circular path, with idiosyncrasies that pertain to groups (i.e., man, woman) as a whole.
Jerry's comment, as a whole, certainly doesn't speak for me, or most that I know.

Jimmy

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
4 posted 2014-11-13 10:50 PM


I like how your poem captures the heart and soul of days gone by, and yet there are feelings that run deep reminding us of what was.  I don't think men and women are as far off as Venus and mars...brain dead is not a phrase I like to throw around... men and women compliment one another..In some form or another...the old yin and yang.
latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
5 posted 2014-11-13 11:29 PM


Gale, This is softly and deeply beautiful. I truly loved the way it slowly gives the message of longing.I could feel it stronger after each line.  

I think we women see a difference in our feelings and maybe express it more easily, but I know men have the same feelings and may just not express it. Jo Perry

Gale
Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578
Russia
6 posted 2014-11-14 03:52 AM


Thank you, my friends, for reading and replying!
Much appreciated! )
Concerning the gender aspect of feelings, I'm not sure that men and women have "different abilities" for love. Sooner there are personal differences. Since it's not my song but only my translation of the song which I like, I can't judge whom she meant writing the story. But I know another song (also one of my favourite ones) reflecting feelings of a man, and I would translate it to add the opposite "point of view on the subject", if only I could.

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
7 posted 2014-11-14 06:12 AM


Translations are a very challenging job, I see that when I make attempts to translate my own poems into another language. From what I see you have done extremely well, the flow of your words is very harmonious and melodious.

Very beautiful. And I also appreciated the  rendering of the Russian text by your tender voice.

Love,
Margherita

Redstart
Senior Member
since 2014-05-16
Posts 535

8 posted 2014-11-14 11:44 PM


This is very passionate. Full to the brim with 'regret'. We can love someone too much, as to drive them away. It's a paradox, but true.
Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
9 posted 2014-11-15 06:25 AM


I am blown away here. The poem is so deep and textured. and then to find out it is a translation too! Foreign language is not my forte so I admire and respect those that know more than one. Excellent job!
Gale
Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578
Russia
10 posted 2014-11-27 06:55 PM


Margherita,
Redstart,
Lori,
thank you so much for reading and replying!
I'm glad that you liked the song!

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
11 posted 2015-08-28 10:04 PM


nice to read...james
OLIAS
Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa
12 posted 2015-08-29 05:38 AM


Has the feel of a forties torch song I liked this very much lots of emotion thanks for sharing
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