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soul drifter
Senior Member

since 2004-09-08

Posts 711
Colorado

0 posted 2014-10-15 02:28 PM

Up A Lonely Ladder

Daydreaming, wishing for you
world turning, words are burning
stuck to the open page like glue

Every cold, dark night that you don't see
how my heart could be
the skeleton key
open up all your doors, empty all your drawers
see what love has in store
for you
but oh every cold, dark night that you don't see
oh I go
up a lonely ladder to the moon
and blue is the solace in my tune

Nightswimming, thinking of you
darkness falls, emptiness calls
and tells me you've been untrue

Every dreary rainy day that you're gone
how can my soul go on
a silly little song
that's all this ever was, and all it ever does
is crumble into dust
but you
oh I bet you didn't even hear a thing, did you
guess I'll go
up a lonely ladder to my room
and blue is the safety of my womb

Stone cold crazy
Los Angeles is hazy, sick and it's lazy
but the sunshine strips away all that decays
in the middle of a blue-green sea
see to the middle, the center of what's inside of me
up a lonely ladder, the Drifters singin' 'Up On The Roof'
down a broken staircase, the pain is 100 proof
and I'm struck on the moment of thinking of you
world keeps on turning, the words are burning
and I'm stuck to the open page just like glue

Daydreaming, wishing for you
words turning, worlds are burning
and I think of you
stuck like glue
oh I go
up a lonely ladder to the moon
up a lonely ladder to my room
yeah blue is the essence
casing effervescence in my womb
and blue is solace
blue is the safety
in your tune

"Heaven is paved with broken glass,
since your hammer struck my heart" -XTC

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

1 posted 2014-10-16 11:53 AM

Very intense work, Zach! A melancholic song, well written.

Margherita

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

2 posted 2014-10-17 04:10 PM

I felt a bit of an interloper as I'm not the addressee. Also I thought it was a guy writing it, until the "my womb" lines. Then with Margherita's reply I saw it was.

These are my favorite images/lines:

a silly little song
that's all this ever was, and all it ever does
is crumble into dust

down a broken staircase, the pain is 100 proof

Some powerful words here.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

3 posted 2014-10-17 08:48 PM

I liked the tone of this one. It seemed like it could use some trimming, and I didn't get the
"yeah blue is the essence
casing effervescence in my womb"
line at all. 'Effervescence' -- the bubbliness of that just doesn't fit with the rest to me. Probably I'm just not reading it right. Overall, I really liked it.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

4 posted 2014-10-17 09:13 PM

Oh I so enjoy reading you...it is with great pleasure to sing along and feel the rhythm...like cashmere you express such softness at a great expense of putting it all out there...and you know for the love of poetic verse(s) ...your words flow deeply and settle into my emotional mindset long after the blue pages have been turned.

Be well good poet...

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