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Open Poetry #49
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A Small, Red Bird
| Open Poetry #49 |
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A Small, Red Bird |
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Redstart Senior Member
since 2014-05-16
Posts 535 |
From the distant hill I saw the smoke in triumph coiled, like a hell-sent demon's jaw that, in the burning, amber glow, devoured the city, crushed below. I took for peace, a cradling wood, it held me like a mother. There, in a silent, smoky glade, I saw she held another. Broken-winged, searching for flight, forever failing in his plight, there struggled a small, red bird. He spoke to me in thoughts, asked me for the sky. You will never fly, I said with honest sympathy. My mother, he cried, born of idle apathy, gave her eggs to a broody hawk. Raised full-feathered, from my surrogate untethered, I braced my virgin wings. Then, like fine lace in a storm, I was harsh and madly torn by Darwin's cruel, genetic thorn. Blooded, I fell from the nest. What bird are you? I asked. He puffed his red and matted breast. A hawk then open-taloned swooped, stole his frail, pathetic form. I forward to his faint cry stooped, and on the wind I heard him whisper: I am the dove of peace. |
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| © Copyright 2014 Redstart - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Ahhh . . . Quite a bloody omen to the dove of peace, and the poem is omen-inspired truly from the monstrous happenings here and around the world. I absolutely like this, Redbird. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Redstart, Read it over twice and came to that deadly end out of which ~ The Red Bird of Peace rose and flew. Oh that one would really come into this maddening world. best to you Jo |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Redstart, Read it over twice and came to that deadly end out of which ~ The Dove of Peace rose and flew. Oh that one would really come into this maddening world. best to you Jo |
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bel1e Senior Member
since 2006-07-24
Posts 1631 |
What a startling poem! Great rhythm and savage imagery...! |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Oh this is such a great poem! I am in awe!! I applaud you Redstart. Excellent poem!!! |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
very well written I enjoyed reading it |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Love the style you wrote this with... good imagery and quite prophetic ending. Enjoyed. Michael |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
I read this exquisite poem long ago. It is exactly my type of poem (except for the end), but I didn't reply because I can't and don't reply to poems with such a sad ending because I am too cowardly to face the fact that these things happen - could never be a vet or an animal nurse. Superb poem, but can't read it again. I replied because I have a seriously limited bandwidth problem especially until the end of the month and didn't want to look further to find a poem of yours - and yes, I know I wasn't obliged to reply a poem of yours in gratitude for your reply to 'The Key', but I wanted to. And, yes, I know, hawks have to eat too, and, of course, I want them to. And I know I am unreasonable, illogical, hypocritical (I eat meat) and oversensitive. Sorry for this stupid outburst. Your poem is excellent. Sobs Owl [This message has been edited by OwlSA (07-26-2014 04:00 AM).] |
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Redstart Senior Member
since 2014-05-16
Posts 535 |
I'm guilty of not thanking you all for your comments. They are very much appreciated. |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
Excellent poetry, Redstart. JL  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself. |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Yep, just love those 'clincher' closings - especially the last line... good read, my friend. j. |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I read this before and it has list none of it's power the second time around. Ida |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Striking write! You have a talented mind. |
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