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Open Poetry #49
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Gale
Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578
Russia

0 posted 2014-02-05 04:47 PM


.

Time is running around the dial
How mysterious are His ways
Is it punishment or a trial?
She agrees
She never obeys

Ice and fire, discouraging haze
Turning black into white and back
All looks clearer in a blaze
Of one’s suffering
But the dark

She is stranger than God by a mile
Now is bleak and tomorrow’s hidden
Yet she walks with a happy smile
As though it is not Hell but Eden

.

06/02/2014

.

© Copyright 2014 Galina Italyanskaya - All Rights Reserved
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
1 posted 2014-02-05 05:19 PM


Sounds like a bad dream...very well expressed, Gale.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
2 posted 2014-02-05 07:29 PM


One of your best. Short, but every line pack a hell of a punch. The ending? Superb!

~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
3 posted 2014-02-07 11:59 AM


Gale, you already know what I think of this poem, but I can’t resist responding to it again.  

I feel the pain and suffering of the protagonist and the understanding that time is running out.

I love the pondering about God’s point of view.  

I love the day and night comparisons of agrees/never obeys; ice/fire; black/white; white/back; blaze/dark; bleak/happy; Hell/Eden.

I love the imagery of the sundial, the ice, the fire, the haze, the blaze, the dark, the hidden tomorrow, Hell and Eden.

I love this jewel, in its entirety, for its art, for its content, for its structure and its compactness.  

I hope there will be a Yang to follow the Yin, some time.

Owl


Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
4 posted 2014-02-07 12:11 PM


Love the ending... sounds like a precarious walk though.  There is much beneath the surface here.

Michael

Gale
Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578
Russia
5 posted 2014-02-07 03:05 PM


BluesSerenade, thank you for reading and your nice reply.
It's reality

Gale
Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578
Russia
6 posted 2014-02-07 03:25 PM


Thank you, Jerry!
The ending was the core of the poem.
I remember the story about Job. He was patient but in the end he had yelled.
I guess that women are different. In the beginning of evil times they feel annoyed with misfortune, but the farther it goes the more laughable it seems.
I can't say for all women though )

Gale
Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578
Russia
7 posted 2014-02-07 03:51 PM


Owl, thank you again!
Yes, it's contrasting, as you've noticed,
but I don't know what to say about Yang.
Maybe it's another kind of contradistinction. Maybe not. It's a difficult question.

Gale
Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578
Russia
8 posted 2014-02-07 04:13 PM


Thank you, Michael!
There is so much beneath indeed
If only you saw me now... I wanted to grow my hair and asked my hairdresser to even the ends just a little, but she has done her best, and now I'm like Besson's Nikita
She's made my day.

Bluesy Socrateaser
Member Elite
since 2002-11-07
Posts 2417
In The Mirror
9 posted 2014-02-07 06:43 PM


quote:
Now is bleak and tomorrow’s hidden
Yet she walks with a happy smile
As though it is not Hell but Eden


Not knowing what may come, this striking portrait of humility and strength is most profound.

Well written and reflective poetry made for a pleasant reading experience.

Regards from Bluesy

...just bein' Bluesy

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
10 posted 2014-02-08 08:20 AM


Powerful stuff here girly!
  "Now is bleak and tomorrow’s hidden
  Yet she walks with a happy smile
  As though it is not Hell but Eden"
Most definitly a killer line! Very impressive.

Lori  

Gale
Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578
Russia
11 posted 2014-02-16 05:29 AM


Bluesy, Lori, thank you both so much for reading and commenting!
I'm very pleased )

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