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Open Poetry #49
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JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana

0 posted 2014-02-04 05:37 AM




I was up to here
with poetry and transgressions
but wasn’t in tune
with the real of my reality
not ready
to don my genuine identity
to the world
I was so close
the poetry made of me
something real
not like my fraudulent self
it scared me
I was pouring out the words
of life on the street
the women, the drink, the drugs
and in these poems
so very amateurish in the beginning
but they were how I was
it seems I was
discovering another Jerry
one I never knew was there
it scared me
slowly the poems became more organized
tried different styles
studied the craft
learned from some of the masters
my words, in many cases
were rude, crude and venomous
many times I wondered
where the words were coming from
but I knew
and it scared me
they were coming from old wounds
and scars
somehow I knew
it was imperative I write about them
the pressure was great
I was so full of poverty of the soul
it was a make or break time
I had to hold firm
and take hold of my inner demon
it was a bumpy ride
and it scared me
still . . .
I persevered
and my friends
through it all, through it all
I wrote myself into
who I truly was

©January 29, 2014 / Jerry Pat Bolton

~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

© Copyright 2014 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved
Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
1 posted 2014-02-04 05:41 AM


I can so relate to this, Jerry. I have found that the more I write the more it slowly improves and it has bee great therapy for me.
                                Ida

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
2 posted 2014-02-04 05:49 AM


I know that I am not alone, Ida. Without my writing it truly does scare me to think where I might have been.

~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
3 posted 2014-02-04 06:48 AM



   "...and it scared me."  The perfect line to repeat.  Growth is scary, unglamorous and very underrated. It is good to see you hold the torch high for the rest of us my friend.  Good morning Jerry!

Lori

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
4 posted 2014-02-04 06:52 AM


Good early, early morning to you, Lori. Headed out to a doctor's visit. Thank you for being here.

~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
5 posted 2014-02-04 02:43 PM


hi jerry, a very confession, we are so many to write for surviving, for knowing some truth about old wounds, your poem give directions to prospect and emotion to consider with humility,


have a nice day


yann


JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
6 posted 2014-02-04 02:47 PM


I'm beginning to believe, Yann, that all poets, at least all serious poets write for survival and to unearth the real selves. Thank you for stopping by.

~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
7 posted 2014-02-04 03:03 PM


Hi Jerry.  I think what you are beginning to believe is totally correct but there's this thing at the back of my mind that tells me that I may have survived better if I hadn't been led into the writers web.  I may not have known my "true self" as you say but I think survival would have been easier because what I uncovered doesn't seem to fit into this wild, wild, word - and that's scary!  
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
8 posted 2014-02-04 03:10 PM


I hear you, Helen. I know the feeling because I was there once. The only thing I can say to your words is that maybe you just haven't dug deeply enough. I finally did dig deep enough, so deep that I found myself forgiving myself. I truly believe that is the crucial step to being able to forgive others, to truly forgive others. Then peace comes to you.

~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
9 posted 2014-02-04 07:24 PM


I like that you have been able to purge yourself of all those old haunts.You found the better person and must have known he was there all the time.I am a huge believer that we are all of us many persons inside and you have proven that, as you grew through your delving and writing. Now that you have made a pact with your other self, life is still open to you.Who knows what is lurking around the corner? Smiling broadly here for you.Take a part of it it and use it openly.Best to you, JO
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
10 posted 2014-02-04 07:30 PM


Jo, I thank you very much for your thoughts on my poem. I'm of the age where my future may not be too long, although I am in pretty good shape, thanks to what I call my miracle drugs. That I may not have too many years left doesn't bother me a lot. I am grateful that I have found peace of mind after all these years. Your comments were very sweet, and I thank you again.

~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

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