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Open Poetry #49
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hummingbird
| Open Poetry #49 |
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hummingbird |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
To envisage the sea, sometimes is so easy, it is better to look at the friendly wind Cast a spell in the colored plants, Let the eyes dance in the vanilla. Here and there flowers challenge you, In the shout of the perfumed battles, But in the after noon, soft and golden, The last word remains that of the hummingbird. Poet fidgeting among leaves, his flight is beating of the gods, His wings striking the wonderful air, leave a white hole in the sky.... |
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| © Copyright 2014 yann rolland - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Boy oh boy, but you put something real together here, Yann. Throughout the poem you laced it with lines which defied reality, but gave the reader a mighty shove into the wonderful world of your talent with the pen. Example would be "The last word remains that of the hummingbird," and "leave a white hole in the sky...." Fantastic conception and delivery. ~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Exquisitely sensitive and ethereal, yet so real for those with Nature’s eyes, each image so delicately and uniquely painted. This is one of my most favourite of your poems – perhaps the most favourite one of all.. . C’est vraiment un chef-d’œuvre! Merci beaucoup Yann! Owl |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Especially love that last line, yann. Ida |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
thanks Jerry for the comprehensive and touchy comment, this is quite delicious to read, and i thank you a lot, yann |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
o owl, you are so kind, your comment filled my heart woth harmony and pride, thanks a lot yann, This is a true poem, I saw just near of me , this hummingbird a few years ago, it was not in France for sure but in guatemala sincerily yann |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
thanks Ida,a last line can be essential for a poem, i guess, have a nice day yann |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Oh, wow, Yann! What a wonderful experience that must have been as you so superbly shared with us in your poem! I am so happy for you that you have that memory and that you have recorded it in your masterpiece poem, for you and for us. Thank you again. Owl |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
I also loved the last line, but it is only because it's a perfect fit to the rest of this beautiful poem. Much enjoyed. |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
thanks a lot diana, o was qyuite Lucky I confess, ot is the only time of my life o expericed it, and i remember keeping as small as I could to not disturb the little bird, thanks to you for the elegant and quite warm comment again yann |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
thanks Kaoru, for the supportive comment, you're right, the las line "punch" it all have a nice day yann |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
To envisage the sea, sometimes is so easy, it is better to look at the friendly wind Cast a spell in the colored plants, Let the eyes dance in the vanilla. Here and there flowers challenge you, In the shout of the perfumed battles, But in the after noon, soft and golden, The last word remains that of the hummingbird. Poet fidgeting among leaves, his flight is beating of the gods, His wings striking the wonderful air, leave a white hole in the sky.... Wow! Dear Yann, this is spellbinding really. It deserves to go into my library for future reads that will always bring joy. Bravissimo! I am filled with a feeling of great harmony and beauty ... Margherita |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
thanks Margherita for the so kind poem, like I said to diana, it was a true story, even the sea in front of me, your garceful comment touched me and gave me passion, thanks a lot yann have a nice day |
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Gale Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578Russia |
"His wings striking the wonderful air, leave a white hole in the sky...." A beautiful, wonderful image! |
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