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Open Poetry #48
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JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States

0 posted 2013-09-05 10:49 AM


Hi, All.

Just a short note to let you know that I'm back (if any of you remember me). My original 'nom de plume' was JLHunter, but that seems to be deactivated-probably from disuse-thus, the 'Invisible Man' icon (a very private joke), and the new 'nom de plume.' I was gone a long time on many adventures (not all wonderful, but that's for another place and time) but now I'm back. I hope that you enjoy.

UPDATE: My old 'nom de plume' was reactivated. YAY!!! (Yes, yes. I know that it isn't a word, but I'm too happy to care right now!)

The Loan
(A Father's Lament)

Cherished time I covet so,
A Heaven sent loan, I think.
Then without a single blink,
Takes my babies as they grow.
Taller now with brighter smiles,
Life moves forward in a wink.
How I miss our daily trials,
Locked away in treasured vials-
Mem'ries that my mind can drink.

Drank on timeless afternoons-
Fairy dust imaginings-
Light my heart until it sings:
Knights and damsels, bright, full moons,
Kings and castles, dungeon's gloom,
Promenades, a bell that rings,
Mem'ries of their fav'rite room;
One small closet with a broom
To this day their mem'ry brings.

Cry to God a simple prayer;
"Guide my babies, as they grow!
Let them never, ever know
How I wished to keep them there!"
'Dada' was my fav'rite word,
Watching them my fav'rite show.
Little ears heard talk absurd;
Though explaining went unheard-
Mom was making cookie dough.

O, Dear God, I miss those days-
Days I thought would never end,
Old age waiting 'round the bend
Snuck up in its varied ways.
Off to grade school, off to work,
Time around them oft did wend.
Thieves of time around did lurk
Sent me reeling with a jerk-
Nevermore a day to lend.

Now, my babies grown old, too,
All have children of their own.
"My, oh my! How they have grown!"
Me-without a single clue-
Cries for something precious lost,
Though my seeds had all been sown.
All my time had such a cost:
Ev'ry dream had now been toss'd,
Back to He who made The Loan.

Copyright 2013 John L. Hunter. All rights reserved.


© Copyright 2013 John L. Hunter - All Rights Reserved
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
1 posted 2013-09-05 01:28 PM


This is a magnificent write, JL.  Left me gasping, and grasping for an appropriate compliment.  I hope to see more from you soon.


Michael

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
2 posted 2013-09-06 03:41 PM


Oh I do love this...that treasured magical time in our lives are the very best memories.  

Thank you for this keepsake....

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
3 posted 2013-09-07 11:09 AM


Happy to see you back, John and yes, I do remember you. I see you haven't lost your touch.
                     Ida

JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States
4 posted 2013-09-08 09:12 AM


Michael,

Thanks so much for the very kind words. This is my first 'long' poem in quite a long while. It is always gratifying to hear that someone enjoyed my work.

Thanks again.

JLHunter

I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires. -Khalil Gibran

JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States
5 posted 2013-09-08 09:15 AM


BluesSerenade,

I am very glad that you took the time to read my work. When I get more time, I will read your work, hopefully, soon. Thanks for the kindness.

JLHunter

I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires. -Khalil Gibran

JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States
6 posted 2013-09-08 09:19 AM


Hi, Marchmadness!

I remember you, too...especially your moniker. I work hard to create cadence and rhymes, so thanks for noticing "my touch." I appreciate your words and your time. Thanks!

JLHunter

I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires. -Khalil Gibran

poetically ghetto
Member
since 2004-01-20
Posts 100

7 posted 2013-09-10 04:24 AM


the passion and emotion in your writing erupt forcefully with a slather of foresight and a valuable lesson within this structure you created a good reminder to us all of not taking lives for granted
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