navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #48 » puddle scribbles
Open Poetry #48
Post A Reply Post New Topic puddle scribbles Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
EmmaRose
Senior Member
since 2011-03-02
Posts 1376
Midwest

0 posted 2013-08-02 08:28 AM



Storming the rusted gates
in a flourish of heart over
heart, the trinkets of drizzle
now flutter its aftermath
seeking rewind to our Spring

faint in voice, light is the murmer
winds push at the leftover puddles
in etchings lamenting a onetime
frenzy, of this, our
starcrossed affair

all become cheap derivatives
mere surrogates to throw the
heart and mind into reverse
from the once a upon a time
of us

[This message has been edited by EmmaRose (08-02-2013 09:53 AM).]

© Copyright 2013 EmmaRose - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
1 posted 2013-08-02 09:14 AM


This is written so well, Emma, and so sad. The loves of our lives and the disappointments. That is why there are poets I believe, to record in verse the ills and hopelessness we felt at those times.

~*~ What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. ~*~

EmmaRose
Senior Member
since 2011-03-02
Posts 1376
Midwest
2 posted 2013-08-02 09:24 AM


thank you for putting my poem into such perspective, yes, those once a upon a times haunt me randomly, but also bring the passion
and inspiration  I need to write, otherwise I'd draw too many blanks

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
3 posted 2013-08-02 11:27 AM


Your words seem to dance for me even if the topic is sad and the dance is mornful.


Lori  

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
4 posted 2013-08-16 10:53 PM


This is powerful and reflective ..and so beautifully put into words.

Excellent poem!

Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
5 posted 2013-08-17 05:46 PM


Wow... you certainly have a way with words.  Flat out poignant.

Michael

Angel4aKing
Senior Member
since 2006-09-27
Posts 1372
USA
6 posted 2013-09-01 03:24 PM


Cute title it definitely made me want to read it!

"faint in voice, light is the murmer
winds push at the leftover puddles
in etchings lamenting a onetime
frenzy, of this, our
starcrossed affair"

I think I have been to where you are in this poem .... thumbs up!

~~~kingsangel~~~

Goldenrose
Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665

7 posted 2013-09-02 05:54 PM


I find this wistfully lovely,you write with words that seem preciously personal.

Thank you.

GRp

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 1105
Watertown, NY
8 posted 2013-09-03 02:24 AM


Ah, those "once upon a time"....I have a love/hate relationship with them. Enjoyed this.

-Trina
I'll keep these dreams hidden
inside these eyes of mine
until my tears fall
unto my tainted hear

EmmaRose
Senior Member
since 2011-03-02
Posts 1376
Midwest
9 posted 2013-09-03 08:31 AM


thank you kindly for reading me

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #48 » puddle scribbles

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary