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Open Poetry #48
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voice2bheard
Senior Member
since 2007-10-19
Posts 591
New York

0 posted 2013-08-01 07:00 AM


She could never look at herself in the mirror

Least not until she put on her makeup

She was silenced of her words held within place

Or so thats what she continued to do

As her phone would go off constantly

Again and again, she would hit ignore

She wanted a life of freedom, thats what she felt she had

However several others would think different

There was always a smile upon her face

As to others it seemed to look, never  out of place

She would go out and live her days, held within a hand

As her sunglasses would shield the light that should shine within her eyes

For someone so beautiful, who seemed to have it all

For there was another side to her life, one that made her fall

Underneath the makeup, sunglasses, and smiles

Was something no one should ever see, especially a child

As days seemed enlightening, enchanting if you may

Her the one with the voice, wouldn't tell it to you that way

One day at a coffee shop, she ran into an old friend

For as they were talking, noticed bruises underneath the mends

As he went to ask, she simply said she fell

However he was no fool, he's seen this all to well

Having a mother that he loss at such a young age

He felt anger in his heart, towards the man who had such rage

He wanted confrontation, he wanted an answer

She said no, leave it alone, eventually things will get better

As he replied It should never be this way

She got up to leave then slowly turned back to him and said I'll be okay

Days went by then weeks without a call

He finally decided to pay her a visit after all

As he approached the apartment of 305

He heard a small noise that simply sounded like a cry

As the door was unlocked he let himself in

To be startled by a discovery that brought chills to his skin

Right there in front of him lying on the floor

Couldn't have been the same beautiful women he saw a few weeks before

For she had become frail, pale, bruised, even smeared

As he went to her, he realized things are far worse than he feared

This was no accident as he dialed nine, one, one

As he thought to himself, what has this human done

As he looked at the pictures hanging on the wall

He saw the man who must've been, the one who started it all

He glanced away quickly, wishing that he never saw his face

For now there was the missing link, putting all the pieces in its place

As the operator answered the call

Again he glanced at the pictures on the wall

A day that was once magical, now just a day she wore a dress in white

As he looked down among her hands, for she had to put up a fight

A gold ring that was still placed among her finger

As sirens were heard, lights were flashed, people rushed, not once did they linger

They had assumed he had caused such an act

As he had to tell them he was the one who found her like that

Police were involved as they searched for a name

For once they did, for him things wouldn't be the same

Twelve minutes was how long it took them to get there

Yet he was the only one by her side, the only one who seemed to care

As a familiar face seemed to stroll through the sliding doors

He had a sudden instinct that he acted on rather quickly

Without a warning, sign, or recognition

The urge to ignite a hit, came with no conditions

As the man turned around to question such behavior

Police were there immediately, making them his savior

As they put him in cuffs with no questions at all

The man suddenly realized what they had discovered, as he came to a fall

He tried to apologize, as he just wanted to see his wife

They replied that he's seen enough, for he had destroyed such a life

As they took the man in handcuffs to the back of the car

They quickly strolled away, as others were watching and thinking what fools there are

Back in the waiting room, he was waiting for an answer

They moved slowly and quietly, making it feel like forever

Finally they asked to see him in the room

As he took in a breath, he would finally know the results soon

They asked him what his relationship was to the young girl

When he replied, she was the one that made him feel out of this world

As so many memories came back in such a rush

All he wanted to do was tell her how he loved her so much

Afraid and worried he would now never have the chance

Or when the time months before, he should've asked her to dance

The movies, games of pool, number of walks, beers & cigarettes

Holding hands, wiping tears, or blood from her biting his ears he would never forget

The talk of a family, or moving out together one day

All things he wanted with her, things he should've done everyday

So many thoughts and memories crossed his mind

As he was prepared to say his goodbyes

Then as he was told she was in critical condition

A small shred of light opened up as he breathed in

He let out his breath as tears fell from his eyes

For she didn't leave him, she was there, still alive

He forgot all words he was suppose to say

As he asked to see her immediately, right away

They nodded there head as they pointed him in her direction

He was relieved of such pain, wanting her affection

As he went through the doors to which they led

He saw her laying there silently on the bed

For she hadn't moved, she remained so still

Unsure of what to do, for she seemed so ill

Right away he knelt right by her side

As he held her hand and started to cry

He heard her breathe as he looked at her face

He looked passed her injuries, to him she was still beautiful with grace

Right away he apologized, said he never should've left

For as he felt she could've only had seconds holding her breath

She tried to speak, handing him a note like he had seen once before

As he opened it he realized its what caused such events

The same note he had wrote to her a few weeks before

Yet he had never given it to her, it must've fell from his pocket

For inside the note, had contained such a locket

His deepest thoughts of how he truly felt

As tears fell from his eyes, he couldn't believe it himself

She asked why didn't she tell him earlier for she had felt the same way

He said he wasn't sure, but now everything will be okay

I'm here and I'll never leave you, this will never happen again

From this day forth, I will remain more than just your friend

He sat there and pondered the events for a while

As he has always wanted nothing more than a wife and a child

While others had what he wanted so much

He held her hand for he loved her touch

How can such a human take so much for granted

For there are no lives, that are ever really enchanted

He wiped her tears as he whispered, I love you

Now all it would take to make things better is for one day, we'll say I do

She couldn't help but smile and thought how perfect he was

As she wondered why she never met him earlier before

So many things could've been avoided, even saved

Yet they may not have ended up together this way

She doesn't regret only embracing whats yet to come

As she fights through a battle, that she's finally won

As months passed on, the tragedy slowly faded

She finally felt like herself again, no longer invaded

She remembers the words he's said to her before

One day we'll be together and so much more

And as the words he spoke to her finally came true

She never experienced such love for someone, as she finally said I do

Kate

© Copyright 2013 Kate - All Rights Reserved
Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
1 posted 2013-08-06 05:32 PM


Interesting. I think the concept was very good.

I normally don't give out advice, but since I thought there was a very good story I will make an exception. I think this poem needed was to talk with imagery, instead of with words, because of the over whelming emotions the characters felt.

Also it is very, very hard to switch between narrators or points of view in a poem. Sometimes it can hurt the flow.

But a good story uses tragedy as a means to solidify the ending redemption (usually that's what it takes). Or at least that's why I liked your poem.  

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

voice2bheard
Senior Member
since 2007-10-19
Posts 591
New York
2 posted 2013-08-10 12:51 PM


Well thank you, however this wasn't a "story" this was a poem & meant to be a poem, it does change point of view & that's the way it was meant to be seen as.

Kate

Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
3 posted 2013-08-11 01:28 PM


Poetry can have stories. Mine do all the time even though they contain little words. (:


I am glad you have confidence in your work.

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
4 posted 2013-08-27 11:03 PM


Long and interesting...James
voice2bheard
Senior Member
since 2007-10-19
Posts 591
New York
5 posted 2013-09-02 04:24 PM


Thanks, I always seem to write what comes to me

Kate

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