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Open Poetry #48
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Are You Listening?
| Open Poetry #48 |
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Are You Listening? |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana 
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Sometimes the voices get through to you even though you wish they wouldn't. with my head held high let me begin by introducing myself I'm the hours you've spent in complete aloneness I've always wanted to escape your solitude I am your inner voice the one with all the secrets that dare not be told oh, let us not forget I'm the hunger, the ache the confusion within you I am the man you won't be I'm the happiness you forbid the family you shunned the photograph that has never been developed the conversations you never had the dreadful experience you've forgotten about (not) and the good times which never was I'm your only confidante as you sit and stare at nothing I'm the soft voice within can you hear ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ [This message has been edited by JerryPat2 (07-09-2013 08:47 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2013 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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EmmaRose Senior Member
since 2011-03-02
Posts 1376Midwest |
that voice is soothing and spooky too depending on the mood of the listener  |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
You are quite perspective, Emma, you found both "feelings" the poem elicited. Thank you for your input. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
You listened well and heard well, Jerry. I think this is nothing less than excellent. Margherita |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
I'm stuggling for words to comment on this exceptional piece of work. It is like trying to comment on a person describing blunt force trauma to the solar plexus. You introduced us to that Voice in such a way that it made me want to act like we'd never met before. (we all know that Voice) I think of this genre you write about, it is one of your best. Hugs! Lori |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Margherita, I humbly thank you. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Oh Lori, your words give me great pleasure. I came close to not posting this because of its definite, as Emma said, "spookiness." Thank you for making me believe I did the right thing in posting it. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
I think as a poet we must be both internal and external in our writes, Thus we must learn to distance ourselves enough from our feelings to see the greater picture. I feel most poets have this voice you speak of upstairs, and this voice is constantly reminding us to be better people. -Juju |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
You are absolutely right, Juju, in saying that we all have that "Voice," and it speaks to us in a manner suggesting that we straighten up and do right by our fellow man. I suppose it can be laid at the feet of our conscience, but still, I like to think of it as the "Voice." ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Man you are hard on yourself! |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Not really, Eric. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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Gale Senior Member
since 2013-06-10
Posts 578Russia |
I like it very much, Jerry ) |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
One of your best, Jerry. Owl |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Thank you, Gale, good to see you here. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I appreciate your thoughts, Owl. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Hey Jer, I actually saw this earlier in the week but had no time to reply. Exceptional piece of writing here. Love the perspective of the inner self crying out. I almost thought you could have written this one about me. Much enjoyed. Michael |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Appreciate your thoughts, Michael. I suppose these kind of poems are universally written for many of us. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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Angel4aKing Senior Member
since 2006-09-27
Posts 1372USA |
Alone with only my thoughts....that's a nice place to be ... awesome poem!!! ~~~kingsangel~~~ |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Thank you, kingsangel, and yes that surely is a nice place to be. Appreciate your read and comment. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
I like the line about the undeveloped photograph, it jumped at me I must say. Wonderful piece, really, there are some things that you can't escape. |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Appreciate you being here, Kaoru, and that also is my favorite line in the poem. Many of us are undeveloped photographs, I must admit. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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