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LorienLord
Member

since 2013-02-03

Posts 55
Wisconsin USA

0 posted 2013-02-10 02:42 PM

The Black Forest

You are not what you appear to be
your shadows play with light
and the mist that creeps around my feet
causes me to trip and fall
for I no longer clearly see
the path that brought me here
just when I think there's solid ground
I begin to sink.

That is the time I start to think
was it you or was it was it me?
though you posted warnings at the gate
which I in headstrong love ignored
as my compass needle spun your lies
and led me on into the dark
until I realized the truth
then broke its glass against your rock.

So when I needed it the most
all direction I had lost
and wandered looking for the signs
that marked the path and showed the way
but they were nowhere to be seen
and then I found the trail of crumbs
that secretly I left behind
had disappeared without a trace.

So now I'm stranded deep within
the heart of your enchanted woods
where I think I've lost my soul
to one who doesn't really care
but yet will not let go,
and I'm afraid there is no hope
I will ever find the path
that leads me out of you.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

1 posted 2013-02-10 03:17 PM

Excellent descriptive poetry about the element of deep despair and lost in the forest of forbidden love. You have some very good lines here.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

2 posted 2013-02-10 04:48 PM

yep...what jerry said...

j.

OLIAS
Senior Member

since 2000-06-20

Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa

3 posted 2013-02-10 07:19 PM

Cool fairy tale of a write, deep emotion , greatly enjoyed.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

4 posted 2013-02-11 01:20 PM

I so enjoyed reading your poem! There is a lot here that I can identify with.

Not a place I want to be ever again.
Nice poem and welcome to the blue sea, Lorien~

LorienLord
Member

since 2013-02-03

Posts 55
Wisconsin USA

5 posted 2013-02-11 06:25 PM

Thank you all for your kind comments.

katahdin
Senior Member

since 2010-07-01

Posts 1196
ME. In the Shadow of the Mt.

6 posted 2013-02-12 09:46 PM

Wonderfully writen, enjoyed!
Kat >^..^<

latearrival
Member Ascendant

since 2003-03-21

Posts 5499
Florida

7 posted 2013-02-13 06:00 PM

Excellent,write on! jo

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

8 posted 2013-02-20 11:56 PM

Fine writing...I would have been tempted to title this "A Walk in the Black Forest."...James

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-11-08

Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

9 posted 2013-02-21 12:02 PM

Original, creative, meanigful, and lovely
Liz

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

10 posted 2013-02-22 01:32 AM

you express a strong emotional link , the kind we can't get rid of, whatever we do, some lovings can't be forgotten of stepped aside, thanks for the marvellous penning,

yann

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