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Open Poetry #48
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RedStoneEB
Senior Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 772
uk

0 posted 2013-01-19 02:43 PM


To say I shared immortality;
whilst my companion decayed.

But yet I be of breath and shadowed flesh--
far moulded in the image of my maker,
so glorious in my arrogance to see the ground
beneath my feet' whilst the footprints now erased
were once as immortal as I am now, yet reminisced.

Hours indicate my days-- and seconds my mind'
for each beat of the drum is a beat upon my heart
working to waste me from this presences I hold
in my whole' granted this wealth of the earth,
I still poor in the eyes of richer men.

Let go! Let go!
What else was considered beauty once it
became ashes.

Pure to the soul, a new man with each ageing--
yet slowly crawling back to the comforts of before,
trembling with the fact "I am no longer a youth
but from its womb".

© Copyright 2013 Lee Hepworth - All Rights Reserved
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
1 posted 2013-01-19 02:51 PM


Some seriously deep thought in this one.  I can appreciate a lot of it, being one who finds memory the greatest of possessions.   Nicely done.

Michael

RedStoneEB
Senior Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 772
uk
2 posted 2013-01-19 03:04 PM


Thank you for the reply, it has been years since i have really put words to page, reaching a stage where you're taken away by life to live it and work through it, not really giving thought to words on a page, but i find i still am fond of remembering the times i did once write long ago, most likely lost alot of understanding and meaning and poetic style within those years but then again its mostly about just writing from the being so that is all i simply did or attempted to do.

Thanks

RS

Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

3 posted 2013-01-19 03:19 PM


I think Mr. Poe would be proud of your words RS. Nicely done and will read more on your website.Keep writing.

~Victoria

Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs.
William Shakespeare

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
4 posted 2013-01-19 04:00 PM


quote:
beneath my feet' whilst the footprints now erased
were once as immortal as I am now, yet reminisced.

This, to me, is the essence of your poem. You touched upon the beauty of truth, or maybe the disintegration of what we think of as immortality. You never let the reader get too comfortable with your expose of truth, RedStone, that we are far from immortal except frm time to time within our thoughts.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
5 posted 2013-01-20 04:23 AM


“But yet I be of breath and shadowed flesh” blew me away with its excellence!  I keep re-reading it.  

In this outpouring of art and the fragility of existence, you bare your soul, and in having the courage to allow yourself to be so vulnerable, you show magnificent strength.

Owl

RedStoneEB
Senior Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 772
uk
6 posted 2013-01-20 06:43 AM


thank you all for your kind words its always nice knowing people read your words.

RS

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2013-01-20 11:33 PM


Fine writing...James
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
8 posted 2013-01-22 02:02 PM


quote:
Pure to the soul, a new man with each ageing--
yet slowly crawling back to the comforts of before,
trembling with the fact "I am no longer a youth
but from its womb".


This is very profound and beautiful, dear Lee, so nice to see you back here and sharing your works again.

Margherita

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