One day, one day - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

0 posted 2013-01-14 12:33 PM

One day, one day, into your eyes
she’ll smile like a heavenly bride
at life’s so feeble attempts
at breaking eternal vows.

But not yet dead she cries;
hurt lingers long after the deed
that kills the heart before time
and leaves just the mind to survive.

And mind in its manner and form
makes of love a crippled affair
that wanders the paths of memory
with no earthly place to call home.

And I think on these things;
will one day that bride
smile into your eyes
or will the effect of life’s evilness
and ignorance of the alive
leave just the mind to survive?

Mind without heart like sky without blue,
a vacuum of devil’s delight,
and she lives now in that nothingness
until her ordained demise.

But I, the writer of love’s permanence,
leave on the sidewalk my views and reviews
for the garbage man to collect
because I know, and she knows I know,
love died when you said goodbye!

Hello?

Helen / 14 January 2013

(but that's it - I'm done)

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

1 posted 2013-01-14 12:07 PM

"will the effect of life’s evilness
and ignorance of the alive
leave just the mind to survive?"

Wow! You have a novel in a poem.
Love this verse, it blends best with
the thoughts of, "One day, one day"
Love the emotion with the conflict
being human.
Excellent, Helen!

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

2 posted 2013-01-14 12:37 PM

Thank you, JL. Yes, the conflict is human which is stupid really when one ... knows.

Helen

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

3 posted 2013-01-14 02:10 PM

Oh, what a sad piece of writing you have put together here, Helen. Such a firm and final finality to this, it brought an unexpected emotional surge through me, because I feel this is a "for real" poem, and not the other kind.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

4 posted 2013-01-14 02:28 PM

Thanks, Jerry. Unfortunately it is a "for real" poem as all of mine are but there must always be a "story" so I can perhaps pretend they aren't.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

5 posted 2013-01-14 06:16 PM

There is both heartache and splendor in love, and to love and lost isn't always better in my book.

You always tell it like it is,  and I always enjoy your work, even when it hurts to read.

Just hugs, Helen.

Richy
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 3050

6 posted 2013-01-14 10:58 PM

I kinko what Lori said..

this was truly superb Helen.. your writing has been so spot on lately.. its been such a joy to read..

I really enjoyed this piece!

ebonygirl
Member Elite

since 2011-07-14

Posts 2000
California U.S.A

7 posted 2013-01-14 11:09 PM

Heartfelt and so well described, Helen.
Ms. E

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.