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Open Poetry #48
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Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan

0 posted 2012-12-20 09:09 PM




He had thinly layered brown hair
soft cheeks that spoke like
pebbles that faced inward towards the lake
white in their shade
rather slender, but never frail
Cautious under a moons kindred light

His hands moved in the ways of the wind
until his feet followed
just off the cape of the jersey south

He use to say his fathers prayer under his breath
for the lonesome road, the western shell of a farmers land
always left him longing for more

A fathers prayer
a backpack with a letter
that lay stowed away
in the front zip pocket

He had his hands
under the pockets of the wind
the picket signs that raced down the rural roads
for his mind chased towards another seldom fall
winter, easing behind him, lay its tracks on his backside
until he found a place to sit
and watch the empty roads dreams
look inside him.

© Copyright 2012 Tomer Fried - All Rights Reserved
OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
1 posted 2012-12-21 07:00 PM


Tomer, I absolutely LOVED this masterpiece, the first time I read it, and more with each reading - I don't seem to be able to stop re-reading it.  It encapsulates the essence of my most favourite subjects (Nature) and my favourite poem (Ma Bohème) of one of my very, very favourite French poets (Arthur Rimbaud).

I don't have time to come into Pip often - and for many reasons, I am SO glad I didn't miss this one, so rich in quiver-detail - I see, hear, smell, feel, touch it all, and it is so exquisitely expressed.  Whew!  Well done!

Owl  

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
2 posted 2012-12-21 08:11 PM


Enjoyed this my friend. Was right there!

j.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
3 posted 2012-12-22 11:22 AM


You create such a vivid scene and give us a glimpse into the minds of your characters.  I think that is wonderfully unique poetry in motion.  Love your style, Tomer~
Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
4 posted 2012-12-22 07:24 PM


Owl-

As usual, your comments always leave me with a smile.  I don't think my writing is worthy, but I appreciate the comments, nonetheless.  Happy it resonated with you so much.  Take care

Cheers

Tomer

Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
5 posted 2012-12-22 07:24 PM


J-

Appreciate the love.  Happy you enjoyed....take care

Cheers

Tomer

Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
6 posted 2012-12-22 07:25 PM


Blues-

Appreciate the kind words - happy you could see the story begin to unfold from beginning to end.  Hope you're well.

Cheers

Tomer

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