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Debbie Does Democracy
| Open Poetry #48 |
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Debbie Does Democracy |
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Ethern Member
since 2010-07-01
Posts 150on a plane 
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i look around as im sure you do too. and i realize that we have completely different observations. you probably have a good family, a comfortable home, reliable transportation, adequate supplies of your favorite groceries. sufficient funds to always keep your utilities on. you probably have delightful and memorable holidays every year. if i had such a full life i would fight for it too. i won't criticize that at all. and i'm sorry that democracy is bleeding out, i am. i am thirty years old and i wished to see more things. better things. i have suffered so deeply in heart and perplexity of mind. i wonder if anyone else could possible feel the way i do at times. im sure they do. its just hard to imagine. but debbie, if you could see from this perspective: i don't celebrate holidays anymore. i don't have a family to share them with or extra money to buy gifts for anyone. it's been so long since i had a holiday memory to look back on and smile about and look forward to doing again. i keep the necessary utilities paid for so i don't freeze at night and so i can bathe and refrigerate a few generic foods that aren't there for comfort eating. i don't need to stock much because i learned how to eat only when i'm hungry, and it's only once or twice a day usually. my bed is hard, but it's better than the last one i had. the car is worth the cost of maintenance, it's been one of the more reliable ones i've owned, but something will break on it every six months or so. you can bank on it. that will be the month i get behind on the power bill, and have to cut back on groceries and take on extra hours at work. it's routine. my living room is empty except for the other bed. i don't need furniture. i have one chair and a small folding table. it's enough for me. i never entertain guests. hospitality is not something prioritize because i come from froward people with pernicious ways. good friends are few and far between. but i've wasted alot of resources, time and faith looking through friends like pop up windows that sucker you in to disappoint and send you backtracking. i have one solitary prize, one treasure, one joy, one love. one soul in thirty years. the only thing i ever fear to lose. i don't know if socialism can take her from me. i try not to worry about that. what can i do? my whole existence is just one of waiting and watching. but you know what? i am happy. there is nothing they can take from me. and concerning the freedom of speech: i have excercized it so much that i can recite arguments and articles and i can quote well practiced rhetoric. i can fend off teams of dirt flinging double talking dirty fighting debaters. but at the end of the day i should have just saved my breath. and said something kind or told a joke to one caring soul like Liz. and not contributed to dissension and division to regret. so you can take my freedom of speech and bury it by your beautiful flag. it has never done me any good. on the contrary i have dealt much damage to myself by it. |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
I would guess that this will be moved to the Prose forum. Ethern, I am a divorced 67-year old woman with a good son (and a daughter who hasn’t spoken to me in 20 years except for spewing undeserved venom and who lives on the other side of the world) and lying, cheating, vicious parents who both rejected me, my mother also having stolen from me and I have no siblings; I am unemployed, but have my own company, but have not got any income from it since December 2011, except for R350 in May 2012 (±$35) and my son lends me what he can each month and I hate being dependent on anyone else, especially because he can’t afford it and I am adding to his own burden – and I am doing what I can to get business and find other ways of doing things, to stop needing to borrow from him and to be able to start paying him back what I owe; I call my house comfortable, though it is falling apart as I can’t afford to maintain it; I regard my wonderful and much loved Gretta, the 1986 Jetta, as reliable, though her CV joints have been making a lot of noise for well over a year, but her mommy can’t afford to have them sorted out; I don’t have any supply of my favourite groceries at all – all I buy to consume, is bread, margarine, peanut butter, tea, sugar and milk and a really cheap cordial that I mix with water when I don’t have tea, milk or sugar, and I try to have as little of any of the above as I can because I have also learned to eat only when I need replace the energy to work or am really hungry – I eat between about 3 to 6 slices of bread and peanut butter a day but I do have a huge, decent, delicious meal at my son’s house once a week and sometimes he gives me extra to take home; I do not always have sufficient funds to keep my utilities on, but so far my son has been able to lend me extra to have them turned back on when they have been turned off; the last holiday I went on was about 38 years ago. Although I have incomprehensible health, I have had many varied (non-health) crises and panic situations and cried many tears, not just in my personal life, mainly financial (the others are much easier to deal with – I just change my attitude and hey presto, most of them are gone, but the financial ones don’t work that way), but I am also stretched very, very thin, between working for my company and the time-consuming and slightly money-consuming (but not "slightly" in my circumstances) community initiatives that I voluntarily take a very active part – mostly a lead – in, on top of which I am a workaholic and take very little time for relaxing. I don’t have a male version of a “Liz”, but I have a wonderful and much-loved Benji-dog and a wonderful and much-loved Cleo-cat both of whom are my life. I live in South Africa, a country where corruption, crime, violence and anarchy is rife and the order of the day and I have been burgled more times probably than I have had birthdays and attacked several times – though never actually hurt except for a few bruises – but knives (luckily for me not guns so far) waving in my face is not my favourite means of fun. However, not only do I celebrate (and “celebrate” doesn’t mean “pay money”) Christmas and Easter Sunday with joy, and enjoy the essence of the other holidays although, being an indigent workaholic, I work through them – but more important, in my humble opinion - I celebrate life every day and milk every moment of its pleasure and quiver-vibrant life. I admired the ANC (the ruling party in South Africa – and previously a movement to free the oppressed against Apartheid) – once the truth was no longer hidden from the white populace by Apartheid Hitlers – in retrospect, in its fight against the horrors of Apartheid, and through the presidency of Nelson Mandela, and a lot less though quite a bit through the presidency of Thabo Mbeki. However, under President Zuma, it has fallen apart completely. However, despite all that is wrong, corrupt, criminal, twisted and/or the good (of which there is quite a bit) but completely ineffective in the government, I celebrate our country’s democracy fervently and passionately and proudly – it is infinitely better than the previous government which was outright evil, prejudiced and insane, and caused and/or exacerbated so many of the current problems. In democracy, there is an option for things to be worked upon, negotiated, ruled upon and changed, but not without the positive input/work/action of those not in agreement with what is. I intend to have a wonderful day. I hope you do too. Owl |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Fine writing...James |
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