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Open Poetry #48
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Ethern
Member
since 2010-07-01
Posts 150
on a plane

0 posted 2012-11-12 02:08 PM



the breaking point
her fragile heart:
the fracture aches with pain,

weeps bleeding tears
from unhemmed scars
that ink her lovers name,

behind the wall
she mourns in white:
her bride's gown crimson-stained.

her injured soul-
her broken dreams-
in pieces will remain.

© Copyright 2012 Derrick E. Gillum - All Rights Reserved
Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

1 posted 2012-11-12 02:13 PM


That is a sad one. Nicely done though.

~Victoria~

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
2 posted 2012-11-12 02:33 PM


Very painful write.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
3 posted 2012-11-12 06:05 PM


Fine writing...James
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2012-11-12 11:20 PM


very descriptive

brings me back to old feelings


Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
5 posted 2012-11-13 06:49 AM


Heart rending.  Lovely flow to it though.  Enjoyed much.

Michael

EmmaRose
Senior Member
since 2011-03-02
Posts 1376
Midwest
6 posted 2012-11-18 08:42 PM


i could feel the shattered heart here
JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
7 posted 2012-11-19 10:36 AM


A heart-breaker, for sure.
Very well written.

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

luminosity
Senior Member
since 2005-11-18
Posts 813

8 posted 2012-11-19 10:46 AM


very nice writing...though very sad as well
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