Colored Leaves tanka - pipTalk Forums

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Krawdad
Member Elite

since 2001-01-03

Posts 2597

0 posted 2012-10-22 01:01 AM

         I walk upon leaves
         such freshly colored carpet
         falling to my feet
         Some would call upon the rake
         I prefer to let the wind

Krawdad
Member Elite

since 2001-01-03

Posts 2597

1 posted 2012-10-22 01:02 AM

Suggested by VAS's "Snapshot".

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

2 posted 2012-10-22 01:45 AM

Ah yes,when all the leaves are off my weeping birches, I've often called in a carpet of gold. Many think they should be raked and bagged. I love the beautiful carpet, right up until they get all soggy with rain.

So, a tanka is a 5lined poem, give me more info. Does the syllable count matter like in haiku?

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Krawdad
Member Elite

since 2001-01-03

Posts 2597

3 posted 2012-10-22 02:20 AM

A tanka is an extension of the haiku, or perhaps more properly, the haiku is a reduction of the tanka.
Tanka syllable count would traditionally be 5,7,5,7,7.
There is a bit more to it than that, of course.

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

4 posted 2012-10-22 04:19 AM

Yes! Krawdad, I thought I was the only one who doesn't rake up leaves and lets them be a wonderful carpet, and regenerate back into the ground. I don't even like sweeping my front verandah of leaves from the branches of my forest that peer over on to it and from which the monkeys bounce to and fro and birds alight, and I only do so very reluctantly on the few occasions I feel I ought to.

Owl

r v wooo
Senior Member

since 2007-08-07

Posts 656

5 posted 2012-10-22 12:07 PM

Yes! Let it happen naturally...Enjoyed.

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

6 posted 2012-10-22 01:36 PM

Well, just to let you know, Krawdad poems are very special to me. So glad to see you here again.
Ida

Victoria

Member Ascendant

since 2000-08-12

Posts 5869

7 posted 2012-11-03 06:57 PM

I enjoyed as I call upon the wind too.
Nicely done.

~Victoria~

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)

EmmaRose
Senior Member

since 2011-03-02

Posts 1376
Midwest

8 posted 2012-11-03 08:06 PM

I like to kick them up when I walk and
rearrange the neat piles

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

9 posted 2012-11-03 11:29 PM

yes sir! Definitely strikes a cord with me. Enjoyed this my friend.

j.

MGROVES

Member Elite

since 2004-02-01

Posts 3802
california

10 posted 2012-11-04 06:20 PM

brings back memories, always loved to jump in a pile that someone just raked. and listend to the crunch, and felt the wind.

My spirit will rise
above the sea~
There will be no drowning
of my soul or me~

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