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Open Poetry #48
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Dawn Brink
Junior Member
since 2011-04-28
Posts 44
South Africa

0 posted 2012-10-21 08:06 PM


Recently I've found myself
lost in a whirlwind, a
phantom scream in darkness,
an echo of what could be.

I've reached out, reached back
inwards and I'm lost,
still deserted but for the ghosts of
yesterday and today
(and the tomorrow that would have been).

This whirling, twirling, hurtling dance
where I grasp and clasp onto you (you, any you),
and cry till the screams of
confusion and
loneliness drown out the whirl of the wind:
I've been trying, crying (too hard).

I've been here too long, and still the wind
shakes me and drags at
my heart.

I'm crawling down and gathering strength
and kneeling.
(Soon) the stormy fingers of desperation will
ease their grip and leave
some ragged form of peace.

© Copyright 2012 Dawn Brink - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
1 posted 2012-10-21 08:38 PM


I hear you wailing, Dawn, and it is a place I can identify with. Sometimes when you get down far enough the only place to go from there is, inch-by-inch, up. I'm rootin' for ya . . .

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
2 posted 2012-10-22 04:44 AM


Beautiful poem, compatriot, but I am sad to hear this, but heartened at the last stanza.

Owl

r v wooo
Senior Member
since 2007-08-07
Posts 656

3 posted 2012-10-22 11:59 AM


Hmmm...my advice...when you feel the grip easing, bite down hard and regrip!...I've found myself "lost"...a time or two...just keep on truckin'!
Interesting poem...

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

4 posted 2012-10-23 01:26 AM


Some of us are perpetually lost, or at least lurch from one unrecognizable place to another.
And yet, we somehow grow old with it.
Wish I could be more encouraging . . .
Enjoyed your take on it, nevertheless.

Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

5 posted 2012-10-27 10:33 AM


Its nice when those haunting ghosts disappear. Just takes time. Enjoyed reading.
Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
6 posted 2012-10-27 05:22 PM


You just agonized your way up my alley!
Excellent outpouring of pain.  I feel you.
Don't let it take you under.  Just breathe
and know it will get better


   lori

luminosity
Senior Member
since 2005-11-18
Posts 813

7 posted 2012-10-31 11:54 AM


this is a powerful write of turmoil, sending prayers and hope
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