..suffering poets--Revision of 'having to wait'

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Open Poetry #48

..suffering poets--Revision of 'having to wait'

Spiros Zafiris
Senior Member

since 2002-10-20

Posts 982
Canada

0 posted 2012-10-14 09:23 PM

this is not a true revision because seems
i'm going to keep both versions

..suffering poets

they say
the more one suffers
the greater
a poet one will be
now, what gems will my corns evoke
~~
..(C)2012 Spiros Zafiris
~~
ORIGINAL VERSION:

..having to wait

can't say
I suffered enough today...
I'll have to wait
until torment resounds
for rapt odes to hold sway
~~
..(C)2012 Spiros Zafiris
~~

ebonygirl
Member Elite

since 2011-07-14

Posts 2000
California U.S.A

1 posted 2012-10-14 11:31 PM

I enjoyed both poems, Spiros, as they are.
Ms. E

Spiros Zafiris
Senior Member

since 2002-10-20

Posts 982
Canada

2 posted 2012-10-15 01:16 AM

..thank you much Ms. E...

..spiros

~~

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

3 posted 2012-10-15 06:59 AM

Hah! Never mind the roids, eh, Spiros. Liked the first one better.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

4 posted 2012-10-15 07:49 AM

Ok, Spiros, the meaning you wanted to convey is clear. Emotions drive the poets no doubt to bring out the best. May you not suffer too much, but always feel deeply, whether it is pain or joy that "rages" in your heart.

Both versions are very good, yet I love my personal interpretation of the first one best.

Margherita

Spiros Zafiris
Senior Member

since 2002-10-20

Posts 982
Canada

5 posted 2012-10-15 02:37 PM

..thanks again, Jerry and Margherita..i am
quite fond of version1 too..

..spiros
~~

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

6 posted 2012-10-15 04:00 PM

The first was good. The second timeless. Well done, and both are keepers.

Michael

Spiros Zafiris
Senior Member

since 2002-10-20

Posts 982
Canada

7 posted 2012-10-15 08:03 PM

..thanks much, Michael, for your take
on these two versions..

..spiros
~~

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