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Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

0 posted 2012-10-12 11:00 AM

I woke in the darkness
of my abyss
succumbing to overwhelm
and sanguine emptiness
of my forever broken heart

Too tattered to face the day
and sleep having spent
it's limit on my escape
I huddle awake beneath
the safety of blanket and solitude

I die into my misery
where it brings solace
to the reality of living
through another transient spell
of light less tunnel

Another tumultuous storm
to be weathered
my the me that I be
Ashamed of my
self stigmatizing disability

It feels endless and
impossibly defeating
yet much too familiar
to believe the
deadly rhetoric

I liken it to catching
a very blue flu
that runs its course
ravaging me until
my eventual well
returns from underneath
its painful oppression

Another morning waking
to the stress residue
left in my body
A small price to pay
for a brighter day
with a horizon
worth the healing

Tender and sore
I will try to care
through my fears
that defeat me

LGR(C)10/12/12

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

1 posted 2012-10-12 11:08 AM

This was difficult to read, Lori. Wishing you light and peace . . .

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

2 posted 2012-10-12 11:26 AM

it was a difficult day...hadn't had one of those in a long time. The worst is over and I appreciate your warm thoughts Jerry.

lori

Richy
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 3050

3 posted 2012-10-12 01:52 PM

sounds like the same, bug, ive got..

i hope that horizon helps heal

you're much too vital and significant to be down

all that aside, i think this is my favorite piece of your's Lori

so nice to read you again

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

4 posted 2012-10-12 07:12 PM

Thanks Richy! I am both glad and sorry you can relate...I don't wish this on anybody.

But I know I am fortunate and blessed and there are oh so many others that have life way harder than I do.

lori

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

5 posted 2012-10-12 09:29 PM

"Self stigmatizing disability"

Great line that. I can relate well to it, and the whole poem in general. Nice wring, though maybe a hug is in order.

Michael

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

6 posted 2012-10-13 08:27 AM

Give me hugs, make me laugh and it does speed the healing. I always have mixed emotions when someone tells me they can relate..it is bittersweet thank you Michael

lori

ebonygirl
Member Elite

since 2011-07-14

Posts 2000
California U.S.A

7 posted 2012-10-13 11:53 AM

Very well done, Lori.
Wishing you Healing and Light.
Ms. E

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

8 posted 2012-10-13 12:10 PM

“I liken it to catching
a very blue flu
that runs its course
ravaging me until
my eventual well
returns from underneath
its painful oppression”

This is so sad, and so difficult to read;
it heart-hurts, big time.
Big Texas sized HUGS to you Lori!!

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

9 posted 2012-10-13 02:45 PM

Yes, I truly understand, Lori. Hope you feel better.
Ida

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

10 posted 2012-10-14 07:42 AM

Ms E
I appreciate that more than you know!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JL
I'll take that Texas sized hug and thank you big time!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ida
Sorry to hear you understand and I am feeling better, thank you for the warm thoughts

lori

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

11 posted 2012-10-14 05:42 PM

You have rendered the momentaneous darkness of the horizon (of your life) extremely well, dear Lori. I know of this kind of dark grip and it isn't a nice place to be in, though we know deep within that the sun will shine again.
Love and hugs.
Margherita

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

12 posted 2012-10-16 01:29 PM

having "so many others have life worse than you do" doesn't lessen the pain of your own, my friend; but it does show your compassion for others ... a good thing. And the pain of your own, is no less than that of those others,
within your own existence.

Thankfulness though, for what we have, versus what others have, and our ability to recognize theirs, is a blessing in our lifetime.

good piece, my friend.

j.

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