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Open Poetry #48
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suthern
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Louisiana

0 posted 2012-09-27 02:09 PM


From arms of her lover, she laughs at you
Thinking pathetic the things that you do
To gain her attention, but she’ll not sway
You’re only a dog who has had his day

The pain in your eyes she will note with glee
She leaves you stripped bare so that all can see
You give her a power she doesn’t deserve
From her maddening path, she’ll never swerve

So howl at the moon and sob through the night
She’ll just mock you as a pitiful sight
Her laugh will echo as she walks away
With another who’ll learn that he’s just prey

Soon his lover’s cross will stand beside yours
And you'll understand the pain he endures
But that won’t prevent your slow seeping yearn
To be hers again – You never will learn

As you look around, you accept your fate
The bleached bones of those who’ve ended their wait
Are gruesome testimony to her game
But with last breath, you crave her all the same


© Copyright 2012 suthern - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat2
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since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
1 posted 2012-09-27 02:29 PM


Ain't at da truff, suthern? Happens often, and we never seem to learn. It happens with genders reversed also, but I think more often it is as you have so written here. This was/is one hell-of-a rendering.

~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

Goldenrose
Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665

2 posted 2012-09-27 07:01 PM


Winsomely wicked write here southern one and a write i really enjoyed...

Thank you

goldenrose.

music was my refuge.i could crawl into the spaces between the notes and curl my back to loneliness - Maya Angelou

katahdin
Senior Member
since 2010-07-01
Posts 1196
ME. In the Shadow of the Mt.
3 posted 2012-09-27 09:01 PM


Enjoyed!
Kat >^..^<

suthern
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4 posted 2012-09-28 10:07 AM


Jerry: Thank you very much, kind sir! It does indeed happen with both genders... the players keep on playing, leaving heartbreak in their wake.

Goldenrose: I don't think I've ever written winsomely wicked before... but I do love the description!!! LOL Thank you!

katahdin: I'm glad you did! Thank you!!

Janette
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since 2001-07-20
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Chicagoland for now
5 posted 2012-09-28 11:44 AM


*clap ... clap ... clap*
Bravo!
This picture is also hanging on my walls.
Excellent write!

always seeking joy, adventure and romance and wishing you find the same

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
6 posted 2012-09-29 04:12 PM


Wow!  I hope you gleaned this from a movie
and not real life experience??

Gave me the old goose-bumps...
Kinda like fingernails screeching across
a blackboard.
You did a stellar job...


JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

ebonygirl
Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000
California U.S.A
7 posted 2012-09-30 09:36 AM


Pretty intense stuff, Suthern!
Enjoyed,
Ms. E

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
8 posted 2012-09-30 10:39 AM


You captured this beautifully in all it's painful colors. Never understood the need for notches on the bedpost. It obviously speaks to a heart incapable of returning  love that it continues to desparately seek.
Too sad broken hearts need to break others

Lori

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
9 posted 2012-09-30 06:59 PM


You go suthern gal!!!  Love how you sunk your teeth into this one!

Yay!!!!

suthern
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Louisiana
10 posted 2012-10-03 09:15 AM


Janette: It's great to see you here! Thank you!!!

JL: Shivers ran down my spine at just the thought of fingernail screech. LOL Thank you very much, dear friend... a "stellar" from you is high praise indeed! *S*

ebonygirl: I'm glad you enjoyed, dear lady... thank you! *S*

Lori: I don't think I'll ever understand the collectors... and just hope any future contact I have with that ilk is as observer only. Thank you very much!

Blues: If only my teeth could have snipped the bindings early on... or eyes seen past the pretty packaging! LOL Thank you so much, dear lady!

Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
11 posted 2012-10-05 11:54 PM


Ha!  I love this.  Made me wonder if she wore a Merry Widow and the image took me off to another place.  I wanted to be her just for a bit, but then the bones.  Oh those pesky bones!

I love this poem -

xoxoxo
A

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
12 posted 2012-10-06 04:21 PM


We're all prey of a sort, my friend ... some just have greater need and trust than others, but eventually even the "player" missteps and becomes is preyed up and generally suffers much more than those one which he/she preyed.

enjoyed.

j.

OwlSA
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since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
13 posted 2012-10-06 05:00 PM


Ruth, life has a way of getting back at such monsters as he.  Sadly, there are so many fake and/or sick-minded predators - 2 legged ones without feathers, I mean - around, and because they have no conscience, they are not limited in their selfish, greedy, megalomaniac behaviour.  I am sure your excellent poem was superbly cathartic.  I have written a "black widow" poem or two in my time, and writing them does wonders for re-instating one's equilibrium.  After that, the greatest and most effective reaction, I find, is to banish them from one's thoughts.  I am glad, having seen from your reply in another recent poem of yours, that you are currently content.  That is a hugely heart-warming thing to be.  

Owl

Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

14 posted 2012-10-06 06:27 PM


hey isnt that the spider who eats her mate after he's well.. you know..  ! ... haha

makes one think about the webs we try and avoid.. but sometimes we do get trapped, just like Vincent Price.. helpppp meeee... helppppppppp meeeeeee

haaha

enjoyed this Ruth.. lots of wisdom weaved throughout


suthern
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Louisiana
15 posted 2012-10-12 04:25 PM


Alison: I like the path your mind took... that may be the reason her web is so enticing! LOL Thank you!!

jwesley: I've always liked the thought that what goes around comes around... but I never get the satisfaction of seeing the comeuppance? LOL I'm glad you enjoyed... thank you!

Owl: My contentment has slipped several notches because of another variety of sick minded predators/2 legged monsters (I'll tell you about the latest round of farm thefts when/if I get to a breathing place). I'm just hoping for them to make that misstep Jimmy talked about. Thank you for your kind words!

Richy: Yup... that's the one. LOL Thank you so much... I needed the smiles you left for me!! *S*

To all: I hate explaining myself or writing disclaimers... but I hate misunderstandings more. It was brought to my attention that this poem caused pain to someone I care about. That was never my intention. I didn't have ANYONE from PIP in mind when I wrote it. It's simply a product of the way my mind bounces... I'd intended to tape a TV interview with an author I like. The recording cut off before Lee Child was interviewed so instead of seeing him discussing murder mysteries, I saw Don McLean discussing American Pie. That put Don McLean on my mental jukebox all the following day... until it skipped over to Jim Croce as I was walking to the bus. When I started humming Croce's "Lover's Cross", this poem poured out... I literally wrote it as I walked and waited for the bus. Writing about a collector wasn't difficult... I've met more than a few, fell for a couple and written about those experiences. A friend is scarring from a player right now. I drew on my memories... but changed the sex, hoping to make it more interesting and less personal.

I do not write to hurt or harm - I'd rather never post another poem than to hurt someone I admire and respect. If taking this poem down would help, I'd ask to have it removed in a heartbeat. But the damage is done - and I was oblivious to it all.

Please please PLEASE don't make assumptions. I try not to use this forum as a diary - I do not use it as a weapon. My apologies to all for the rambling... and to one in particular for the hurt I caused, however inadvertently. I rue the day I hummed that song.

Michael
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California
16 posted 2012-10-12 09:58 PM


I think this was a great poem, capturing so many of the habitual flaws of human nature where want and/or need completely overcome reason... and how readily we see what we want instead of what lies right before our eyes over and over again, as if we were preprogrammed for such futility.  Known a black widow or two in my time as you well know.  

Michael

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
17 posted 2012-10-13 03:23 AM


LOL Suthern I was thinking you were rushing Halloween a little.Black widow spiders and
all. Watched some real dectetive story on TV a few weeks ago and this womoen married and killed three or four men in a very short time even her little daughter by giving them asenic, all for the insurance money.She got hers!!!! jo

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
18 posted 2012-10-13 04:04 AM


Ruth, I am devastated to hear about yet more farm thefts.  Please find a moment soon to email me.

Owl

Kethry D
Member
since 2010-04-12
Posts 64
Australia
19 posted 2012-10-13 06:41 PM


Whenever I am feeling numb, I can always come back here and read your work.  You never disappoint. Even when you are terrifying is an aweful terror. You make me feel again. Thank you dear lady.
Write on!

A poet must leave traces of his passing not proof.

Rene Char

Mysteria
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20 posted 2012-10-14 12:29 PM


You captured her well in this one.  I have know a black widow or two in my time - and said, "Here you take him!"  LOL  Good one Ruth.
Margherita
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since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
21 posted 2012-10-14 01:35 PM


Impressive and powerful, dear Ruth, and ... so incredibly truthful to what happens more often than we might suspect.

Your poetic excellence is in full view here.

I would like to add that if somebody hurts when reading a poem and identifies with its message that is not the poet's fault or responsibility. And then, some lessons may hurt, but lessons they are and should be appreciated .

Hugs.
Margherita

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
22 posted 2012-10-16 01:51 PM


My friend, having re-read this piece and seeing your "disclaimer" I decided to get on my soap box:

If one suffers from an allusion, (true or not) then it is that one that has a problem, not you, and you should never feel you have to apologize and write a disclaimer for anything you write.

If I apologized for every allusion in my writing I'd never have time to write, because, although some of my writing is from personal experiences, and may point fingers, most is not - it's from things I've heard, seen , read, and all the emotions that went with that, or which it produced in me.

A person that thinks everything another says, thinks, writes, or whatever, is about themselves ... has problems, not you. I don't care what may or may not be going on now or in the past/future, between the two.

And even if you do/where "alluding" - that's
your emotional clearance and needs no explanation to anyone!!  Especially not one that wants/needs to try and wear the shoes, to justify their own conflicts.

jimmy

Lady Goodman
Member
since 2012-10-04
Posts 193

23 posted 2012-10-16 07:25 PM


awww...tsk and hugs. I thought this was about ME--but I am more akin to the brown recluse variety these days.

I hadn't been around much until lately, so I'm content to be clueless.

You touched a nerve, and I can say from personal experience, that can be a good thing that becomes a bad thing. I've discovered that some will always question motivation, even with disclaimers. I do hope you and your friend patched things up. Once a poem is posted, it doesn't belong to us anymore, and a ball hit out of the park just might land in the lap of someone after it goes over the fence and ends up crashing through a window--and if you start worrying about that, it affects how you swing at the blank-page pitch of the ball. (I ramble...)

It's good to read you again, Ruth. Just keep hitting the ball and run like hell.


luminosity
Senior Member
since 2005-11-18
Posts 813

24 posted 2012-10-30 04:47 PM


lol, and yes I know, lol is not the typical reaction to this poem, but lol cause once I wrote one with the same title, but it was about me...and it sure isn't pretty looking at it from  your eyes....great write lady
Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
25 posted 2012-11-09 12:50 PM


Reminds me of Willie Nelsen's song 'Permanently Lonely'--but he feels sorry for the black widow, and I don't, because she doesn't think she's a pathetic figure, and most of them never do figure it out.  And the ones who only get the thrill if they can take him away from someone who loves him really get my dander up. Which says nothing about your poem, which I enjoyed.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

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