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Open Poetry #48
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The Illegitimate Son
| Open Poetry #48 |
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The Illegitimate Son |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana 
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the fracture across my life has been wrought by moody turbulence I have hid from view in the pitch black dark of back alleys recalling my faux mother's face that sad day she looked me in the eye and lied to me nothing would ever be the same after that day it was the last straw when you can lie to your son knowing he knows you are lying you have breached turbulent waters if there is such a thing as hell she will occupy the worst wing of it those alleys I secreted myself in the roads I've roamed searching for . . . I never was quite sure so I lied to myself to hold onto my sanity me lying to myself isn't the same as my mother lying to her son when she knew I was quite aware we had no common blood I'm the illegitimate son ~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ [This message has been edited by JerryPat2 (09-23-2012 07:12 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2012 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
...and it was her lie that made the feeling of illegitimacy stick. There are alot of illegitimate children that are raised not to feel like that.  Lori  |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Yes, Lori, it was her lie that started a whole lot of stuff that could have been avoided. Hell, I'm still hurt about it all, that's why I can never leave it completely alone. I'll die not knowing and that isn't right, but, it's what it is. ~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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Startime1955 Senior Member
since 2012-04-22
Posts 1072Alberta, Canada |
Well all I can say is you are loved by a lot of people who understand your pain...being illegitimate means nothing today...**BIG BIG HUGS** *may our dreams ever be magical* |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I know, Karen, it wasn't the fact that I was illegitimate that caused all the problems, it was the lie about it. Thank you for your kind remarks. ~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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Startime1955 Senior Member
since 2012-04-22
Posts 1072Alberta, Canada |
I know what you mean about a mother's lies...my mother fed me of so many that I don't know what she said it true or not so I just leave them and her alone...*BIG HUGS* *may our dreams ever be magical* |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I'm sorry to hear about that, Karen. You have the right way to handle it. I guess I was scarred early in life (sixteen years old) and it cause much trouble in my future. ~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I think Karen is right on this one. Most of the time people lie and hurt others to protect themselves from shame and ridicule. They are weak. It takes courage to tell the truth and some people just don't have it. Ida |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Oh, I think Karen is right too, Ida. Maters not to me. My life was molded by the rumors about me being illegitimate, so I confronted them about it, they lied to me, and even after I turned the refrigerator over in the middle of the floor they held their ground. At that point in time, Ida, I developed a hate for my adopted mother that I will go to my grave with. I tried to get people in town to tell me the truth and come from a small town (population 600) everybody knew everything about everyone. No one would tell me. It is something, Ida, that just will not let me alone. If I had been told the trust back then it would have all worked itself out. Thank you for your comment, Ida, I very much appreciate it. ~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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