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| Open Poetry #48 |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana 
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Like an animal scratching at the door “Please give me a chance” I humbly implore As broken fingernails fall to the floor But my heart aches, breaks, bleeds – ignored You don’t want to hear what I have to say If you don’t listen, you cannot be swayed The damning answer you choose to convey Is cold silence to my dismay I don’t understand how it came to this Not so long ago we were sharing bliss But now I’m plummeted into abyss And all that we had you dismiss I seem to be whole, but I’m only half Of what I once was, an empty carafe I don’t understand what was my great gaffe I only know I mourn. You laugh I feel that I’m choking as silent screams Tear at my throat – this demise of my dreams Threatens my sanity for now it seems I held no place in all your schemes Why was there no warning of grief’s attack How do I move forward while looking back I keep cataloging all that I lack And live in a world that’s left black (this isn't about me - though there have been times when it was *S*) |
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| © Copyright 2012 suthern - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I was going to really get down with sympathy for you suthern until I read your disclaimer. Still, as you said, you have been there, done that, so my heart goes out to you . . . back then. ~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ruth... I very much like this departure of your writing into this new form... it really seems more like YOU! While I have never met you [although that day is coming! - God wills it!] it truly sounds like as I imagine you! Yep! It sucks to be solid, when the poetry is this good!  |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
I could feel despair in each verse. Almost hear teardrops hitting the floor. This has the makings of a great story line for a country song. Perfect title too... maybe Alison Krauss, or Rhonda Vincent? Enjoyed the read, Ruth!!  JL  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself. |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
You write the bitter very well. This one aches, and stings. Glad it wasn't a personal one. Michael |
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Startime1955 Senior Member
since 2012-04-22
Posts 1072Alberta, Canada |
Been there...you express it perfectly...I am glad is isn't you now...*BIG HUGS* *may our dreams ever be magical* |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Ruth, You nailed it alright! I'm soooooooooo relieved to hear it isn't the here and now for you. Bless your heart. Lori |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Yea, love and life can often be down right frustrating. Having so much to give and no takers. You write it well suthern gal~ |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Jerry: Thank you - from both the me of now and the one of then. Sunshine: LOL!!! We do have to meet one of these days! *S* And you're right... I was playing with rhyme but this does sound like me... always adding on. LOL Thank you!!! JL: What a delightful compliment!! When I write songs, they're inevitably country... I didn't hear a song in this but I thank you for your ears and kind comments! *S* Michael: I've got closets full of bitter... fortunately I was just trying on rhymes with this. *S* Thank you!! Startime: You and me both!!! LOL Thank you very much! Lori: I'm actually pretty content right now... and I'm loving it! LOL Thank you so much!! Blues: Amen to that, sweet lady!!! I can say "their loss"... but it's always mine, too. *S* Thank you!!! |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Damn, I am happy that you put the note in that this is not about you. I was mesmerized and sad as I read - that's good writing in my opinion. A |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Always nice to be able to write something like this and not have it be about yourself (and I am certainly glad it's NOT about you!) Wonder piece ... nailed it to the wall, could feel it all... j. |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Superbly written, Ruth - and I am SO glad it isn't about you now, and am very glad that you are currently content. "Content" is often so underrated. "Content" is very good. Owl |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I agree with Diana. Content is often under rated. I do wonder why people seek romance so desperately when it seems to make about 90% of them so unhappy. Ida |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
And I agree with Ida, who put it so much better than I did. In my humble opinion, one needs to feel whole and happy independently, before one can expect to find a romance that will work otherwise one is just going to feel worse when placed next to another jigsaw piece that doesn't fit. And what are the chances that one meets a jigsaw piece personality that fits perfectly? If one hasn't accepted oneself just the way one is - or evolved to where one can do that and where others can accept one as one is - how can one manage to accept yet another person just the way he/she is and be accepted in the same way? It is compounding the problem. "Content" is the best (and, in my humble opinion, the ONLY) starting point. Bravo, Ruth. And, if romance doesn't arrive - well, one was/is/will be content, anyway! Owl [This message has been edited by OwlSA (10-08-2012 09:37 AM).] |
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ebonygirl Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000California U.S.A |
Hey Suthern, Your poem would make a great Blues song! Ms. E |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Loved the poem's format and the poem. |
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