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Open Poetry #48
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the coat of Naples
| Open Poetry #48 |
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the coat of Naples |
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Tomer Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168Michigan |
I remember the wine that use to run through naples with its soft side of red pouring onto the mantle that cased itself next to the podium of people chatting, commiserating how the corners of the land use to watch as couples, hand by hand followed the path to where their lips touched and he tore his finger through her heart just as his Grandmother use to as she ruffled through his hair I remember how the sky wasn't a desire but a refuge for the seam of a cold shoulder and an empty stare that never stole the fields glare from the moons silhouette in the air Here in the fields Naples, tucked inside the country-side where regret spoke like a dancers twisted ankle a black little window that felt such angst the tears dried along the pebble road as it stretched the canvas of ones heart wilting the regret of another night of labuorless love |
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| © Copyright 2012 Tomer Fried - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
You are just good, Tomer. There are so many quotable, great lines in this it is hard to pick just one out, but I will try . . . quote: What a descriptive two lines. Dragging his finger through her heart. Damn! ~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
A simultaneously magnificent masterpiece and delicately exquisite cameo, in every possible and imaginable way, Tomer. It appears to me that you understand excellence of art and intensity of emotions (deep with sentiment and sensitivity, but never ever dropping into sentimentality), and the seamless segueing (I learned that word from you in “the Louisiana haze”) of both, as very, very few, if any, do. I try not to say that any poem is my favourite of yours, because later you come up with another to prove me wrong. I am tempted to say what I think is so perfect about this poem, but it seems a silly exercise, as you are the artist who painted it, moulded it, imbued it with nostalgic memories and sensitive emotions, better than I could ever dream of doing. If I were still an English teacher, I would have loved to address this poem over a series of many lessons in each of many classes, knowing that the pupils would be so very deeply enriched by the experience of your poem. Thank you for delighting my day. I savour every nuance of this gem. Owl |
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Tomer Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168Michigan |
Jerry- I appreciate the love; happy it took a liking to you. Tearing through ones heart can never be a pleasant thing.. Cheers |
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Tomer Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168Michigan |
Owl- Your reply, as always, is beautiful in every sense of the word. The appreciation you show towards my work is always heartfelt. I'd like to think I'm rather humble, but your words of 'masterpiece' and 'art' are taken in with an open heart. If a class of students were ever to read single piece of my writing, I think I'd had died and gone to heaven.. I appreciate the love, as always. Take care. Cheers Tomer |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Well, giggles, then I am glad I am no longer teaching English! As much as I know you will go to Heaven, I don't want you to go there for mannnnnnnny years yet, lol! Oops! Just noticed that you wouldn't actually have died and gone to Heaven, just thought you would have. Then there is no danger if I ever teach English again, of my killing you, lol! Breathing a sigh of relief! Owl |
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Startime1955 Senior Member
since 2012-04-22
Posts 1072Alberta, Canada |
Stunning visions pour forth from your pen...well done...I too am greatful to read your words...*BIG HUGS* *may our dreams ever be magical* |
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Tomer Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168Michigan |
Starttime- Thanks for the kind words..happy you enjoyed the read. Take care Cheers Tomer |
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