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Open Poetry #48
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Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

0 posted 2012-09-14 02:35 PM




All the things I forget
in the midst of my remembering

This and thats are who knows where
when my mind is with you

As fondness fills my space
insignificance falls out

Smiling when I get there
I enter a room with no idea why

I miss my turn as if I was lost
in more than just my thoughts of you
LGRĀ©9/14/12





© Copyright 2012 Lori Grosser Rhoden - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
1 posted 2012-09-14 02:49 PM


Beautifully done and your object of remembrance is one lucky guy. Nice work, Lori.

~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

Startime1955
Senior Member
since 2012-04-22
Posts 1072
Alberta, Canada
2 posted 2012-09-14 03:16 PM


"I miss my turn as if I was lost
in more than just my thoughts of you"
I've been in that very room where I need to back up and remember because my thoughts were on him...well said...*BIG HUGS*

*may our dreams ever be magical*

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
3 posted 2012-09-14 03:45 PM


This and thats are who knows where
when my mind is with you

Oh, I love this... both experiencing such delightful distraction and the poem you wrote describing it so well!

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
4 posted 2012-09-14 05:53 PM


Ahhh, you show in a very captivating way that no reason of distraction is sweeter than that caused by love ... lucky girl ... and lucky guy!

Very lovely!

Love,
Margherita

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
5 posted 2012-09-14 05:54 PM


What a sweet thing to say Jerry! Thank you very much!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Startime! And more often than not, I find I didn't need to be in that room at all I simply "overshot my target" as I call it. Thus, that next stanza about missing my turn. I'm delighted you could relate!

********************************************
My dear suthern, Your comments always make me feel so good! bless your heart!
Lori      

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
6 posted 2012-09-15 05:46 AM


And... the neat thing is that all the distractions and results of those distractions don't ruin the mood at all when thinking about him!   Loved your short poem, Lori!

Miscellanea

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
7 posted 2012-09-15 06:45 AM


Lori:  Your opening line encapsulates something that never even occurred to me in a very succinct way -- you're right:  how incomplete memory is even when you do your best to remember, so much in between is overlooked or forgotten...  I suppose that the spirit of the memory is what matters -- the details that synchronized with what one deems important.  This had a nice "glow" to it, and I enjoyed.  Thank you!

-MVS

You CAN make a difference, but first you should learn how:
http://educate-yourself.org/intro.shtml

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
8 posted 2012-09-15 03:34 PM


miscellanea-funny you should mention mood, I realized as I wrote it that the opposite is true as well with love...distressed thoughts of the one you love will do it to you too. Thanks for commenting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MVS-Wow, great critique and commentary. I am flattered and humbled. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. I'm delighted you enjoyed it!


Lori     

[This message has been edited by Lori Grosser Rhoden (09-16-2012 04:27 PM).]

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
9 posted 2012-09-25 10:21 PM


Very nice...James
JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
10 posted 2012-09-25 11:21 PM


"I miss my turn as if I was lost
in more than just my thoughts of you"

Wow, you do have a way...



-----------
JL



Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
11 posted 2012-09-26 02:58 PM


Thank you very much James

Lori

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JL
Yes I do, glad you appreciate it.


Lori

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
12 posted 2012-10-05 05:09 PM


Lovely, clever poem, Lori.
                    ida

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
13 posted 2012-10-12 07:04 AM


Many thanks Ida


   lori  

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