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Open Poetry #48
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Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida

0 posted 2012-09-03 08:10 PM


it is still outside today, and hot
and the shade is not dappled, so much as
it is like a living, moving thing. something
with thought and a thirst for more than
sun bleached lawn furniture.
it moves around in shivers; i sit through the dance
and endure the exposure.
maybe the heat will peel back my
skin, where i am only empty bones
instead of the trembling, frightful thing
i have become.

a grumpy old man came by to visit
and i found him to be delightful.
he made fun of golfers, while i smoked;
blowing little gray ashes and gnats.
and he said he was catholic
but wasn't going to no faacking cataclysm.
i thought, this is what i am
and what is to become of me? i was
sad to see him go, in his little white
truck and old veterans cap perched jaunty and high.

he said i was beautiful and
girls just didn't smoke like they used to.


© Copyright 2012 Nicole Williams - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
1 posted 2012-09-03 08:25 PM


I loved this. I put myself in the old man's place. This was a dark piece, but when taken altogether it came out as something you could sink your teeth in and come out with something worthwhile. I am still fantasizing about putting myself in the old man's place. I'm sure he will return when you need him again. It's good to see you again.

~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
2 posted 2012-09-03 08:52 PM


Thank you Jerry. He is great. I enjoy our visits, and he seems to put things in perspective in ways that I haven't even thought of.
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
3 posted 2012-09-03 09:00 PM


Old guys who have been around can do that for you. Your friend seems like a keeper.

~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

Startime1955
Senior Member
since 2012-04-22
Posts 1072
Alberta, Canada
4 posted 2012-09-03 09:05 PM


I don't call them "old guys" but "wise men"...I know a couple of them...well written...*BIG HUGS*

*may our dreams ever be magical*

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
5 posted 2012-09-03 09:42 PM


I apologize for calling them old guys. 'Nuff said. Can't win for losing.

~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
6 posted 2012-09-04 06:44 AM


Jerry, definitely.  I can't remember how it goes; he's forgotten more than I'll ever know?  Something like that.  

Star - half-dozen in one, 6 in the other, I suppose?  Or maybe it sounds better to say, "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet."  Either way, it's something I value.  Thanks

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
7 posted 2012-09-04 01:22 PM




I can relate to both sides of this piece, and think it very well spoken, my friend.

Much enjoyed the read.

j.

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
8 posted 2012-09-04 05:33 PM


I can hear the cogwheels turning in your head.
I relate to this, as j wrote, on both sides.
Sounds like my oldest daughter, and, sounds like me some years back speaking to my dad.

Enjoyed the read, Nicole.

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

Goldenrose
Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665

9 posted 2012-09-04 06:05 PM


A fine snapshot of your day nicole,enjoyed the view,thank you.

Goldenrose.

music was my refuge.i could crawl into the spaces between the notes and curl my back to loneliness - Maya Angelou

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
10 posted 2012-09-04 06:59 PM


You are such a fine writer, what a wonderful piece of poetry!!!
Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
11 posted 2012-09-05 06:40 AM


j - thanks, i'm glad you could see both sides

JL - the cogs can get kinda loud up here, sometimes     

Goldenrose - it actually turned into an ok afternoon, once the breeze kicked in a bit.  thanks

Blues - thankya lovely

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
12 posted 2012-09-05 01:52 PM


Ms Moppet...cool views of the gap between yesterday and tomorrow..anything that makes you smoke can't be too bad.


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
13 posted 2012-09-05 03:38 PM


Nicole,

start asking him more questions...
keep notes...
he's an icon
and maybe only you know...


Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
14 posted 2012-09-06 05:57 AM


Ddy - I can definitely think of a few things, want to help?  

Karilea - His name is Murphy, but I call him Murph.  He's 87 years old, and mows the lawn for certain people because it's fun and he's just that kinda guy.  I'm just about the only one that'll ask him anything, because the man does have a mouth on him, but I love it.  Plus, he says I make good sweet tea (I use sugar instead of crystallized carcinogens).  It's a win/win.  

Spiros Zafiris
Senior Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 982
Canada
15 posted 2012-09-09 04:56 AM


..hello..i read this poem hours ago (yesterday?)..vaguely remember it..should
read it tomorrow, again..all i can say,
is that you have one of the clearest voices on the Net..had much enjoyed it..>>spiros
~~

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
16 posted 2012-09-09 07:30 PM


fine 'slice of real life' writing! [It's interesting ... how many rather different
'writing styles' appear among the 'poets' here in 'P.I.P.-land' by the cyber-sea] ...

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