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Nigelinoz
Member

since 2012-07-24

Posts 71
Victoria,Australia

0 posted 2012-08-12 05:13 AM

I'm not sure how I feel about this one,I sort of like it but feel it tends to ramble,I won't be offended by constructive criticism.

I can never begin to tell you
Or even hope to make you see.
Just how totally I love you
And what you mean to me

How I think of you each moment
Every day and every night
And here your soft voice whispering
I'm here with you,it's alright

How I see your face in the moonlight
As sleep gently takes ahold
How you fill every dream I have
Of you,an angel with a heart of gold

Yes an angel sent from St Peter's gate
To come and shower me with love
But you are not here yet,I have to wait
For sunlight from above.

I just wish that these poets words
Could be written in your heart
So that you could begin to know
That we must never part
For if we were to say goodbye

To bid each other farewell
I would really rather die
Than suffer the living hell
The living hell of a lonely day

Without you by my side
I could not function in any way
Or walk along life's endless shore
To watch the eternal tide

This love for you is pure
It is not fake or false
I'm asking for your hand
To dance an endless waltz

Come take my hand as the music starts
And we dance to a sweet song
Life is a journey ,we must take part
Take my arm and come along.

This love is timeless
It will not ever end
Not now not tomorrow not ever
I cannot find the words to say
Why I feel the way I do
But I cannot live another single day
Here alone,lonely,and without you

Without the woman I truly want
To be a partner with me for life
My Denise,my friend,my one true lover
My darling,and future wife.

You may as well give cherries to a pig as give advice to a fool-
Irish Proverb

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

1 posted 2012-08-12 07:18 AM

I wouldn't say it rambled, the meaning was perfectly clear and understandable, if anything it may have gone on a little too long. But ramble, I don't think so.

~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

Nigelinoz
Member

since 2012-07-24

Posts 71
Victoria,Australia

2 posted 2012-08-12 07:22 AM

Thanks Jerry Pat,
I agree it's perhaps a bit long so I will probably rewrite it.
As usual I appreciate your comments.
Cheers
N'oz

You may as well give cherries to a pig as give advice to a fool-
Irish Proverb

Startime1955
Senior Member

since 2012-04-22

Posts 1072
Alberta, Canada

3 posted 2012-08-12 08:24 AM

From a womans perspective...hearing such words of love from a talented poet can never be too long...beautifully said...*BIG HUGS*

*may our dreams ever be magical*

ebonygirl
Member Elite

since 2011-07-14

Posts 2000
California U.S.A

4 posted 2012-08-12 01:19 PM

A lovely poem for your true love...
Enjoyed Nigel,
Ms. E

Nigelinoz
Member

since 2012-07-24

Posts 71
Victoria,Australia

5 posted 2012-08-13 06:54 AM

Thank You Karen and Ms E for your lovely,encouraging words.
Much Appreciated.
Cheers
N'oz

You may as well give cherries to a pig as give advice to a fool-
Irish Proverb

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

6 posted 2012-08-14 09:23 PM

Very nicely written and very much enjoyed.
Hugs~Nancy

Life isn't about how to survive the storm...
But how to dance in the rain.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

7 posted 2012-08-21 12:50 PM

If they are sincerely spoken, there can never be too many love words.

Beautiful write!

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

8 posted 2012-08-25 10:04 PM

A wonderful flow of romantic words...James

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