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Open Poetry #48
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She's Gone (Villanelle)
| Open Poetry #48 |
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She's Gone (Villanelle) |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana 
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 Uploaded with ImageShack.us My sorrow is in prison; trapped like I, My purpose in life has left with the wind, I want to break things, but instead I cry. I come to myself and my tears I dry, My mind is in turmoil, love's cycles blend, My sorrow is in prison; trapped like I. I walk outside and I stare at the sky, I ask it where is my lover; my friend, I want to break things, but instead I cry. Something is dreadfully wrong in my mind, Although she gave warning this was the end, My sorrow is in prison; trapped like I. She decided to write to say goodbye, I keep thinking she'll be back in the end, I want to break things, but instead I cry. I know where she is and she isn't nigh. I'm sitting here alone, trying to mend. My sorrow is in prison; trapped like I. I want to break things, but instead I cry. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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| © Copyright 2012 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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luminosity Senior Member
since 2005-11-18
Posts 813 |
I want to break things, but instead I cry. wow this is powerful, hope its not real, and is just a perfect illustration for the photo........awesome write |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
It's real, luminosity. Thank you for checking me out. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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Startime1955 Senior Member
since 2012-04-22
Posts 1072Alberta, Canada |
My heart breaks for you, my friend...*BIG HUGS* *may our dreams ever be magical* |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Thanks,Karen, I appreciate your kindness. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
The villanelle form intensifies the deep emotions and makes them even more powerful. What a brilliant write of a heartbreak! |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Thank you so very much, suthern. You are right, the villanelle, if done correctly, intensifies and makes the drama so much more dramatic, I love the form. ~*~ they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Masterful piece of writing! The expression of sorrow so deep with this repetition for emphasis. Great work Jerry. Eric true love never looks after it's own interests |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Appreciate the kind words, Eric. Good to see you back. ~*~ they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Brought tears to my eyes my friend,  Lori  |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Thank you, Lori. ~*~ they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Fine writing...James |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
ThanksJames...Jerry ~*~ they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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