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Open Poetry #48
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The Russian Bride (repost from a million years ago)
| Open Poetry #48 |
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The Russian Bride (repost from a million years ago) |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
He saw her photo on the Internet Wearing a babushka on her head Golden hair and delft blue eyes Her lips full and cherry red She said she wanted just to be An American girl all her life She was looking for a kind-hearted man To woo her and make her his wife She promised true devotion And a brood of ten kids or more She loved to cook and clean And was willing to do much more! She said she had a degree in Nuclear Fusion and Astronomy She could pole vault faultlessly And hoped for Russian autonomy He sent her money to pay her fare Wrote sonnets to her many charms Told all his friends she’d be coming Into his waiting arms. Meanwhile in a Russian village: Zay call me Olga da Porkling ‘cause my fist is big as a ham no man here vill marry wez me zay say it’s mean I yam Ze mudder make me sign up For American groom you zee He’ll pay gold to take me avay Zen my zister get husband for free Each week my zweetie zend me Hundred ‘Merican bucks in za mail I gev it to my mudder to Keep my brudder outta jail Zoon it vill be time to go To live in za land of plenty I vant to be mud vrestler Zince I vas young girl of twenty I may be zirty nine years old And ugly so my mudder zay But I know vhat ‘merican men want Zis Olga know how to play The meeting: At half past ten on Saturday Our hero stood at the gate For this was the day he’d prayed for And he hoped her plane wasn’t late So tall and handsome, was he, Wearing dockers and a shirt Anxiously anticipating her In a leather mini skirt As the plane emptied, he stared Looking for his blonde goddess to alit When all of a sudden he was grabbed And squeezed uncomfortably tight Wearing overalls and muddy boots Was the bride he’s sworn to adore She smelled like a pigpen and Must’ve been at least six foot four Olga smiled at her new hubby ‘zis iz vonderful day for me ven do we get to do it ‘been vaiting patiently Our hero paled at this thought And tried to back away “come here my lubchink lover it’s time vor us to play At that dear Olga drew out a football Threw it right then and there Our hero ran long to catch it And tripped on someone’s chair He jumped up and kept running No one has seen him since And Olga, the poor Russian bride Was sent back to her hometown of Minsk! |
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| © Copyright 2012 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Startime1955 Senior Member
since 2012-04-22
Posts 1072Alberta, Canada |
LOL...serves him right...this poem made me laugh with delight...*BIG HUGS* *may our dreams ever be magical* |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Rofl... Yeah, gotta love those on-line romances. At least this guy had somewhere to run... Wouldn't it be awful it hed had met her on say, a Carribean cruise ship an had no feasible escape for more than a week? Glad you drug this one back out Sharon. Michael |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
This is wonderful. Quite the story and I loved the laughter it gave me. Thank you, PdV. A |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I've seen a few of those "bride shoppers" on TV and most are a perfect match for Olga, thought they seem to be blissfully unaware of it. Enjoyed the poem, made me laugh. Ida |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Love this story and the chuckle it gave me. Million years ago, my your memory is so good! Eric true love never looks after it's own interests |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Thank you all for putting up with my attempt at humor. I appreciate that you read this!  |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Fine writing and a pleasure to read...James |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
ROFLMAO... and here I thought that was an Olympic hopeful I saw running past! *G* This is delightful! |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
and it'll be just as much "fun" when it turns 2-million years, my friend. Much enjoyed the read. j. |
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niteismyday Junior Member
since 2012-06-19
Posts 35 |
This was beautifully written, I love it! Nice job! |
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