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Zall
Member

since 2002-08-25

Posts 214
London, England

0 posted 2012-05-23 06:46 AM

Slowly the train pulls away
London shifting, rainy, grey
Amongst the rooftops. chimneys, tiles
Stretching out for miles and miles

Journeys offer time to brood
Ol' Bob Dylan, melancholy mood
"Don't Think Twice, It's All Right"
I think about the previous night

Head pressed against dirty glass
City fades to fields of grass
Motion lulls me. Calm, serene
Perpetual dreamer starts to dream

Scent of herbs, rustle of leaves
Gravel scrunching, Tuileries
Clouds make moonlight wax and wane
Caress of night breeze off the Seine

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

1 posted 2012-05-23 06:55 AM

A moody piece, Zall. There is something about London, or England as a whole, descriptive words that stand above other places for setting a strange,eerie mood. You've done it here.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

HippinTrippy
Member

since 2010-03-26

Posts 103
New York

2 posted 2012-05-23 01:51 PM

Wow. Something about this piece gave me chills my friend. This is Very well versed. A fine choice of rythym, words, and music =)

Thank you very much for sharing, I look forward to reading more.

It's not easy being evil, in a world gone to hell.

Startime1955
Senior Member

since 2012-04-22

Posts 1072
Alberta, Canada

3 posted 2012-05-23 05:17 PM

Oh yes...I know about daydreams and night dreams...I went on this trip with you and loved how it left the city behind...very visual and I loved it...*HUGS*

*may our dreams ever be magical*

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

4 posted 2012-05-23 05:22 PM

Such good solid writing.
Smacks of older writing styles but still well done!

Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

BrendaH
New Member

since 2012-05-21

Posts 5

5 posted 2012-05-24 12:40 PM

Zall
I also enjoy this poem, that had me day dream about the fall in the USA, as I watched the wind play it music and smell of the rain for all the living of this world. It begin slow and then it became fast. As the trees an the brushes dance side to side before losing their leaves. As the people run from place to place trying to get uncover from the pounding of the rain. The music of Life, Joy and the changeing of the Season

Zall
Member

since 2002-08-25

Posts 214
London, England

6 posted 2012-05-24 06:31 AM

Thanks so much all. :-)

ken206573
Member

since 2008-10-14

Posts 487

7 posted 2012-05-24 03:14 PM

I enjoyed your poem's ride thru London, haven't been there, but it sounds and looks very interesting. It pulled me in and let me breathe in it's sweet scents.

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

8 posted 2012-05-24 03:30 PM

O aye, I think I was there enjoying the visual.
You made your “Daydream” very lifelike.
Enjoyed the read.

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

Zall
Member

since 2002-08-25

Posts 214
London, England

9 posted 2012-05-25 06:10 AM

Thanks guys :-)

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