navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #48 » things of habit out of place
Open Poetry #48
Post A Reply Post New Topic things of habit out of place Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2012-05-11 07:04 AM


I wish I'd let her go outside
to the shed to hide inside;
instead she died undignified
putting on a show.

The cat?  Well cats are different.
Not quite trained obedient,
she cried to say goodbye; and I
just opened up the door.

My people...they just sneaked away:
"Oh sure, it's just another day"
until we found them where they splayed
themselves with props of everyday--
a bag of trash, a lawn mower,
a drink, a cigarette, a door
things of habit out of place--
human beings die that way,

as if

they really

wanted more...

feigning fight and surety

eyes opened and too welcoming

for me to ever quite believe

they fought this thing that they received:

a friend they always called a foe.


© Copyright 2012 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
1 posted 2012-05-11 08:24 AM


Awsome stuff my dear. You made me contemplate form a different perspective...I love it when that happens.

Lori

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
2 posted 2012-05-11 09:11 AM


Had to read it three times. Third time is the charm. Truly. You bring such a tantalizing surrealism to the table when you address certain things most people just close their eyes to. You are very, very good at opening people's eyes, Karen.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

[This message has been edited by JerryPat2 (05-11-2012 10:04 AM).]

Startime1955
Senior Member
since 2012-04-22
Posts 1072
Alberta, Canada
3 posted 2012-05-11 09:47 AM


BRAVO!!! Wonderful writing and a pleasure to read...*HUGS*
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
4 posted 2012-05-11 01:00 PM


"things of habit out of place--
human beings die that way,"

Sad but true for those that can tie their shoes but are too lazy to bend over and do it.
Wonderful word etchings on the mind of the
reader.

Death the enemy, leaves a lot out of place in some cases doesn't it.

Love this title and the implications in the verses.
Don't quite know who you're writing about in the last lines but whoever they are they sound as shallow as a politician with a minister on his arm.

Love this stuff that cascades out of you. You confused old Eric a little when you said earlier that most of what you post is a rewrite and I thought you meant it was already posted here.
Be patient, I'm not the brightest light in the sky............

Roll'em out there and I'll read'em.

Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2012-05-11 01:07 PM


Hell Eric, I'm not going to pretend I know a bunch of stuff.

I just wrote a poem and all I have for inspiration is the stuff in my head--my memories.

I'll just thank you all for reading and be quiet again.

I appreciate you guys very much--just know that, k?

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
6 posted 2012-05-11 01:16 PM


Please don't be quiet again.
Please don't be hurt over the little conflict you had on your other post.
We appreciate your writing very much.
It's the perfect earthy mystique we all need to reflect on the ups and downs of life.
Don't be hurt there's no need, don't turtle with all that poignant grace you can exude.
You know the others here feel the same.
The poetry world is a much nicer place with you in it!!

I know I joke around too much but I'm trying enjoy the romance of life so never take me too serious. It's always meant to see the lighter side.

Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2012-05-11 01:19 PM


Just tired, boo. I'm fine.
latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
8 posted 2012-05-12 01:43 AM


Karen you are the heart of PIP .,
Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
9 posted 2012-05-12 06:02 AM


I agree with Jo, Karen and this poem proves the point. Please stay just the way you are.
                                    Ida

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
10 posted 2012-05-12 06:19 AM


Impressive, dear Karen!

M

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
11 posted 2012-05-17 09:12 AM


I'd call the waaaambulance but you would flip me off so I will just say cool spill K..


icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
12 posted 2012-05-17 01:44 PM


Yes, we do.





Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
13 posted 2012-05-17 02:02 PM


I really like this

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #48 » things of habit out of place

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary