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Open Poetry #48
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ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

0 posted 2012-04-27 03:38 PM



I sit here by this open window,
gazing at the street light's shimmering rays
A gentle wind blows through the curtans,
they flutter softly in the evening breeze.
I think about all the times I gave my desire
to the next tomorrow of love,
thinking it would be the one that lasts.
I think about the positive infatuation of starting over.
I think about the fact I never really wanted to hurt anyone.
I think about the fact that I'm so outwardly friendly
Yet, I'm a lie to myself, all the while I enjoy the buzz.
I want so much to be loved yet, my gaurd is high,
my own insecurity drowning in a bubble bath of pretense.
I want to take and then give at my convenience,
oh worship me, then I'll make it right for you.
By this open window in the evening breeze,
I try to be honest with myself, my heart cries
I'm so proud inside that I can't let go,
I can't be truthfully loved and easily accept.
Yet, this time there was more than the usual,
there was the unexplainable bond of your innocence,
you gave everything to me, your triumphs your secrets,
you were the sweet flowing river of acceptance,
me and all my baggage, you came and you hoped,
you loved, you opened your inner being to my
pretense, but my insoluable arrogance of protection,
kept me from finding the only lasting treasure on earth,
open undeniable, willingness to love me for what I am
I sit here now realizing that for the first time in my life,
I've lost forever, the only happiness I could ever realize
has left me by this open window wishing I wasn't really me.
The tears of my own rusted heart have finally broken through.

true love never looks after it's own interests

© Copyright 2012 Eric Lewis True - All Rights Reserved
Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
1 posted 2012-04-27 03:43 PM


oh Eric this is heartbreaking! Beautifully blue!

Lori

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
2 posted 2012-04-27 03:46 PM


Thank you Lori.
I appreciate those words.

Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

Startime1955
Senior Member
since 2012-04-22
Posts 1072
Alberta, Canada
3 posted 2012-04-27 03:48 PM


Eric...My heart reaches out to you...I know those tears and pain so well...also remember that love has a magic that can wipe away tears from the soul...you are a sweet man who is too hard on himself...cried for you...HUGS
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
4 posted 2012-04-27 03:52 PM


Thank you so much Karen
You're a very kind person.
This is reminiscing the past and like the song says, regrets, I have a few but these days I really am in love with the romance of life.

Many thanks
Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

Startime1955
Senior Member
since 2012-04-22
Posts 1072
Alberta, Canada
5 posted 2012-04-27 03:54 PM


BRAVO!!! ME TOO
Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
6 posted 2012-04-27 04:01 PM


Poignant...yet that 'open window' speaks of a hope not dead  

A

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
7 posted 2012-04-27 04:01 PM


...smile... you're still the sweet person we all knew around here before and I wish you the best always.

Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
8 posted 2012-04-27 04:03 PM


Thank you A
Yes, you're right, we learn our lessons the hard way sometimes.
Thanks so much for the read and the comment.

Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
9 posted 2012-04-27 04:25 PM


WoW! Eric, I could've written that and it would have been just as true for me as it is for you.

My life has been filled with good woman (most of them) trying their darnedest to deal with and conqueror all my insecurities. It was impossible, and after awhile they understood that impossibility and moved on, or rather I left.

Yes. I'm proud of you that you got it out. It has to be told. I have been telling my tale of wretchedness for a couple of decades, and I finally found a place of forgiveness; me forgiving myself because it wasn't fair to keep beating myself up, when the man I am now is nothing like the man I was back then.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
10 posted 2012-04-27 07:38 PM


You got it right on Jerry!
Had tons of love in me but couldn't get it out right.
These days, got a beautiful wife, beautiful daughter with a beautiful grandson and it's flowing now,
I could always write about the most tender love in the world just like I wanted it to be, but living it and especially showing it, was another matter.
Mother and father split when I was young and developed in me a lack of trust in the arrangement.
Could always love my grandfather and grandmother as they tenderly brought me up for many years.

Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

dreamgal
Member
since 2011-03-17
Posts 442

11 posted 2012-04-27 10:33 PM


This was a great write enjoyed it very much.

[This message has been edited by dreamgal (04-27-2012 11:50 PM).]

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
12 posted 2012-04-28 03:18 AM


Thank you dreangal I appreciate those words very much.

Eric

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
13 posted 2012-04-28 09:41 AM


Sometimes seeing oneself for oneself is hard to do, but so enlightening once one does...

enjoyed.

j.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
14 posted 2012-04-28 12:40 PM


Yep, that's definitely the way it is and as imperfect humans we don't tend to see ourself in a bad light.
Thanks for the read and the comment.

Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
15 posted 2012-04-29 01:19 PM


I think we all sit by that open window thinking similar thoughts, Eric. You  express those thoughts so well.
                                Ida

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
16 posted 2012-04-29 01:29 PM


Thank you Ida
I guess we all do at different levels.
I appreciate the read and the comments.

Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
17 posted 2012-04-29 07:13 PM


A bucket full of heartbreak here with some remorse mixed in...life is choices made and choices to make...James
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
18 posted 2012-04-30 01:44 AM


Yep, a full bucket to say the least.
I appreciate the visit and the comment James.

Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

ebonygirl
Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000
California U.S.A
19 posted 2012-05-01 03:19 AM


Thank you for writing a heartfelt and honest poem.
It touched me.
ms. e

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
20 posted 2012-05-01 03:21 AM


Thank you for reading this, ms. e
I appreciate the comment.

Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

21 posted 2012-05-01 03:51 AM


There's a lot to love about this--

the first two lines, for example?
You wrote my silhouette.

But what really caught my attention was the repetition of "I think"

"I think"
"I think"

because that is exactly what I do.

Or what I'd do.

If I had a penis. <--give us a kiss.

MICHELMAS
Member
since 2012-02-15
Posts 305
Lancashire England
22 posted 2012-05-01 04:08 AM


'A gentle wind blows through the curtains
they flutter softly in the evening breeze'

Many a time I listen to the breeze and the memories therein.

An excellent write like a window to your soul
Michael.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
23 posted 2012-05-01 05:51 AM


Thank you Serenity alias Celeste. ...smile...I wonder where that little orange haired flower is these days.....LOL!

I'm happy you dropped in and read this.
We all think deeply sometimes with or without portfolio....smile....you're one of the best!

I know if I answered all those ads that keep coming to me via the internet promising to lengthen or enlarge my penis then I'd be able to go out as a gas pump on Halloween.......

Hang in there kid we love ya!

Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
24 posted 2012-05-01 05:54 AM


Thanks for thwe visit Michael.
That was the intention window to my soul so I'm happy you saw it that way.

Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
25 posted 2012-05-01 07:12 AM


"I've lost forever, the only happiness I could ever realize
has left me by this open window wishing I wasn't really me.
The tears of my own rusted heart have finally broken through."

my favorite lines... (sometimes I sit by that window) and after reading all your responses, I feel happy that your life has made you realize  that being "you" was not such a  terrible thing after all.

Wishing you much joy today and always...

M

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
26 posted 2012-05-01 12:32 PM


Thank you so much Maureen.
I appreciate that thoughtful response and thanks for the well wishes.

Take care

Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

luminosity
Senior Member
since 2005-11-18
Posts 813

27 posted 2012-05-02 02:09 PM


ah, an open heart doth make for wonderful poetry, much enjoyed the read
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
28 posted 2012-05-02 04:00 PM


Thank you luminosity I appreciate that reply.

true love never looks after it's own interests

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
29 posted 2012-06-08 03:11 PM


I want so much to be loved yet, my gaurd is high,
my own insecurity drowning in a bubble bath of pretense.

Your words are so intensely personal... and yet many of us find ourselves at that window with you. Wonderful work!

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
30 posted 2012-06-08 04:10 PM


Hey Suthern
Thanks for that comment and for the visit. I always appreciate your visits very much.

Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

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