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Open Poetry #48
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2012-04-18 05:21 AM



This is what I feel inside
this is the thing I cannot hide
life and dancing drooling grin--
this is the thing that I keep in

deep

inside myself.

I talk to gods--they answer me.
I spoke with God. He's why I weep.
Corrections made and sins atoned--
I sit here, and I feel alone

deep

inside myself.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary
your face is shadowed, cast in stone.
I dreamed I laid my palm upon
your face and felt your tears; I owned
every woman's flesh, as mine...

I felt so shamed
to pour this wine
upon the ground
to mark the time
of this season's
soured grape--
I wondered if that
Holy Grace
felt like rape at all.

I spat the bitterings divine--
how-could-you-not-know-me?

I'm

(too deep)

inside myself

am I?

too dead,
fat-fed
too scientized

for faith
and what faith offers me--

I buried me,
myself
too deep...

I AM

a subtle lie.

© Copyright 2012 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
1 posted 2012-04-18 06:03 AM


I don't think you are too deep inside yourself, Karen, but I do think you are deep spiritually and mentally. You question. You question yourself, your world, and every living organism in your world and beyond. I find you more than refreshing, I find you beautiful in every sense of the word.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2012-04-18 06:10 AM


You couldn't see it (or maybe you could) but I read your reply and put my hands over my face, blushing...

I didn't expect this to be well-received, so I thank you, Jerry.

*sheesh*

I'm getting a secondary blush...

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
3 posted 2012-04-18 06:20 AM


I have heard it said that blushing is your goodness ascertaining itself, Karen. Well, actually I have never heard that before, but it is so true, I should have heard it before now.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2012-04-18 06:24 AM


Wow. That's so good you should write a poem about that. Seriously.


Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
5 posted 2012-04-18 07:44 AM


Ms Serene...I tripped over some faith once...it was all icky and white sticky stink inside and I got it all over my atheism.  Enjoyed you here lady
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2012-04-18 08:05 AM


I used to think that was my problem.

Then I realized I'd had several courses of broad-spec antibiotics.



Hugs, you!

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
7 posted 2012-04-18 09:58 AM


You touched on some tender spots I could relate to, that took me by surprise.

Lori

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
8 posted 2012-04-18 11:32 AM


Mary, Mary, quite contrary
your face is shadowed, cast in stone.
I dreamed I laid my palm upon
your face and felt your tears; I owned
every woman's flesh, as mine...


That's so powerfully expressed, dear Karen. Only by identifying can we ever try to understand. And Faith goes hand in hand with personal experience, far beyond the dogma.


Great work.

Margherita

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
9 posted 2012-04-18 02:29 PM


Better a "subtle lie" that all can relate to/with and lovingly forgive, and tightly hug, than a blatant, screw-you one that makes us all wish for the power to kill.

Always enjoy reading you, my friend.

j.

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
10 posted 2012-04-19 12:35 PM


"I AM

  a subtle lie."

perhaps we all are?!

interesting 'write' !

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2012-04-19 09:02 PM


This kind of writing is why
I love you so very much. Your
honesty "lies" within each line...

so much so that the truth
sings loud and clear.

And I really, really enjoyed Jerry's insightful read.


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

12 posted 2012-04-20 03:20 AM


Aw. Methinks Jerry is so sweet he turns bitter on himself, just for balances. (I think you know that, too. )

And oh my seconds, I do hate to correct an interpretation, but it occurs to me that  perhaps the capitlization of Am, after "I", might have escaped you...

The subtle lie of I AM (that) I AM does indeed pass on down through descendants, though.

I think we are all subtle lies, subject to rationalization. <--a rationalization in itself.

I rest my case. *hugs*

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
13 posted 2012-04-21 01:57 PM


"life and dancing drooling grin--"







  

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
14 posted 2012-04-21 02:32 PM


see your e-mail

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