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Open Poetry #48
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martiniat8
Senior Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic

0 posted 2012-04-14 11:49 AM



What more is there
in this to this
than this

Work work
can't get hurt
momentary moments of loneliness
before sleep deep
$ave $ave

days gone by of raves
a pause to one who draws
where one comes under inspection

where she is on this day of sun
with her son and a biological clock
life under the gun

another meeting
sipping tea by seating
another interview potential mate
declaration of inclinations
and pondered query of directness

how much money do I make
stability reliability and history.
How much more can I take

Chemistry overlooked slightly
bygones lightly brushed without a stroke
provoked, lead me to water in effort, quit the smoke
over and begun, needless to say... Done.

Does she go home to list pros and cons
introspect a Czechlist in comparison
to other candidates before opening a heart
romance like a business transact

where all that matters are answers to questions

sex and attractiveness
interests or protests
don't seem to matter much

and what about me
what matters to me?
well, she's bubbly, hard, strict, direct
but very very pretty

a blonde single mom
at the age of 36.

© Copyright 2012 Kenneth Bradley Smith - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2012-04-14 09:28 PM


Wow....I'm not sure who wrote this, the woman, or you. Talk about a ticking time bomb here,
this was mesmerizing, for as I said, who wrote this?

You, or her?


jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
2 posted 2012-04-15 12:03 PM


Browsed through this at first ... then read it line by line, word by word, and this was just terrific, my friend, beginning to end.

j.

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
3 posted 2012-04-15 06:11 AM


Dear Kenneth, this is so emblematic for today's  situation, a mirror of society's issues. Loneliness on one side, need for security on the other side. Not love is considered priority, being financially safe is ... And that is sad in a way, but crucial even for a very pretty "36 years old single mom".

Excellent write.

Margherita

martiniat8
Senior Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic
4 posted 2012-04-15 04:46 PM


Thanks for the compliments.

Yes, I wrote this, but I can see as I reread it that one might think she wrote it and mostly it is her perspective, mixed with mine. It is cool, I like the effect. Mostly I just free wrote it as the thoughts, sounds words just flowed from the initial inspiration. I think it is an interesting write.

Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
5 posted 2012-04-16 09:17 PM


This poem is well written, because you leave the reader thinking and wondering.  Great write.

Juju

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

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