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Open Poetry #48
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Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2012-02-13 08:43 AM



I took the last verse of a favorite poem and made it
the first verse of this new one. Anyone care to try it with one of your  poems?


Silent Peace

The field was dark, the pond was still
And in the wraps of evening chill
As memories were passing through
I thought of you -   I thought of you

The summer suns that hovered high
And moons that rolled across the sky
Were seasons passing silently
Embracing me -   embracing me

Your words were gentle like the breeze
And touched my heart so tenderly
That I was blinded by the truth
Oh, wasted time! Oh foolish youth!

Now looking  back I must confess
My only friend was loneliness
The only dream my whole life through
Was always you   -   was always you

The field was stark, the evening too
And in the dark I thought of you
The fondest memories never cease
To offer warmth and silent peace

Elizabeth Santos

© Copyright 2012 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat2
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since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
1 posted 2012-02-13 09:02 AM


Interesting concept with the last line becoming the first line of another poem.

I like this poem however you came to write it, because you took on a past life, which I have had some experience with myself. We look back and cringe, don't we? I did.

Anyway, excellent poetry, Elizabeth.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

Joyce Johnson
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Washington State
2 posted 2012-02-13 06:26 PM


Elizabeth you can turn a phrase no matter from where it comes.  Your writing is as supurb as ever.  Love, Joyce
jwesley
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since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
3 posted 2012-02-13 07:14 PM


I agree with Joyce and loved the read.

j.

Huan Yi
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since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
4 posted 2012-02-15 09:53 PM


.


This is good


John


.

katahdin
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since 2010-07-01
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ME. In the Shadow of the Mt.
5 posted 2012-02-16 04:15 AM


Enjoyed!
Kat >^..^<

Nan
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since 1999-05-20
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Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
6 posted 2012-02-16 06:41 AM


You're amazing, Liz - Thank  you for being you..
Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
7 posted 2012-02-16 09:58 PM


Liz, I was just thinking of you today, and of a phone call from a few years ago when we spoke from an even farther difference than where I sit now...and as Nan says...

so say I.

I'm glad to see you are doing so well!




Marchmadness
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since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
8 posted 2012-02-17 04:54 AM


Beautiful poem, Elizabeth. I have always been a fan of your poetry.
                            Ida

suthern
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since 1999-07-29
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Louisiana
9 posted 2012-02-17 04:18 PM


Now looking  back I must confess
My only friend was loneliness
The only dream my whole life through
Was always you   -   was always you

I'd have to borrow a favorite poem from someone else... I try to forget mine! LOL But yours are unforgettable... and this is wonderful! I especially love the lines above!

Michael
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California
10 posted 2012-02-18 12:05 PM


"Looking back I must confess
My only friend was Loneliness"

Those are some powerful words.  This was beautiful, and had a perfect flow to it as well.  I thoroughly enjoyed this... your pen drips with passion.

Michael

ebonygirl
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since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000
California U.S.A
11 posted 2012-02-18 12:11 PM


Beautifully written, enjoyed. Ms. E
Martie
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12 posted 2012-02-18 05:54 PM


Liz...So lovely, this poem and you!!
luminosity
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since 2005-11-18
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13 posted 2012-02-18 10:22 PM


just beautiful
Denise
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14 posted 2012-02-18 10:46 PM


Everything you write is beautiful, Elizabeth! As are you!
ice
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since 2003-05-17
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Pennsylvania
15 posted 2012-02-19 06:06 AM


This is a wonderful idea, Elizabeth.

Your words fit perfectly, the theme of the original poem.

Picking up where the other left off, with your own beautiful poetry.

You have me curious though.
What poem was the prompt from,, please say.

Thank you for the poem.


Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
16 posted 2012-02-19 12:42 PM


Dear ice,
thank you for inquiring. The original poem was "I Thought of You" which has been made into a song.

I THOUGHT OF YOU

Tonight I thought of you
In evening’s chill
As shadows slipped across the hill
And stars were folded imnto night
And disappeared   -    but that’s alright

I knew the evening
Would not bring
Compassion with the warmth of spring
The Ides of March is never kind
When blowing through    -  but never mind

I still can find
A loveliness
To bitter nights, but I confess
A certain hush to solitude
A certain edge to loneliness

The field was black, the pond was still
And in the wraps of evening chill
As memories were passing through
I thought of you  -   I thought of you

Thank you all for your comments
Liz

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
17 posted 2012-02-19 01:29 PM


Love that poem, Elizabeth...but
I still have questions...

Did you write "I thought of you"?
If not, who did?

I can't find it on the net, in lyrics, or poetry...:-(

I am just full of questions-- I feel like Sheldon on the "Big Bang Theory"...lol

ice aka ford

Come read to me some poem,
Some simple and heartfelt lay,
That shall soothe this restless feeling
And banish the thoughts of day.
Longfellow

Amberzlynnc
Member
since 2010-08-24
Posts 229
New Jersey
18 posted 2012-02-19 01:45 PM


Beautiful! And I love the idea.. I'll probably give it a go!
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
19 posted 2012-02-19 02:01 PM


This poem can be founf onm my website. If you do a search for "custom poetry by Elizabeth" it will appear. then look inder my poems and then "Love". I can probably send you the song if you are interested
Liz

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
20 posted 2012-02-19 08:14 PM


great 'write' ! ...

that 1st. verse is indeed mighty fine!!

JamesMichael
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since 1999-11-16
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Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
21 posted 2012-02-19 09:18 PM


Nice...James
Mysteria
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British Columbia, Canada
22 posted 2012-02-19 11:31 PM


Lizzie, you never cease to amaze me!  Beautiful poetry from a beautiful soul.
Paul Wilson
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United States
23 posted 2012-02-23 04:36 PM


Elizabeth..Great poem. The way you came about writting it is very clever. Since I have had a major case of writers block for about a year I think I will try your idea and see if it works...Paul

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

Alison
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24 posted 2012-02-27 01:14 AM


Simply beautiful.  Quietly beautiful.  I love it.

A

Tracey
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since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
25 posted 2012-03-12 09:58 PM


Oh Elizabeth, it's been a long time since I've been here, and I'm glad to see some things never change. The beauty of your poetry for one... I love this
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