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Open Poetry #48
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Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida

0 posted 2012-01-28 11:49 AM


she loves how his sleep-lips touch her forehead
in some form of abstract companionship,
when night is soft like velvet
and she is allowed the smallness
of pushing past the boundaries of her mediocraty.
there was a beginning to it all
and in breaths she pled, softly; and he nodded,
and unraveled her intentions one thread at a time.

the night, for her, gives way to a gentler murmur
and a look that climbs as ivy, shaded;
that ripples the dark pools of doubt
until there is a loosening, a breaking
that wraps sounds like colors
and her mind is like wildflowers, fielded and vibrant.
he would crawl into her skin then;
push out and fill her breath,
wearing her like a jacket, fleece-lined and lovely.

she loves him then, unchained;
before the industrious hum of the cicadas,
before the lonely ochre cry of the
sandhill crane, across the wetlands.
on the cusp of dawn, when light is soft;
they discover her watershed


© Copyright 2012 Nicole Williams - All Rights Reserved
Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
1 posted 2012-01-28 12:07 PM


You have such a unique and special way of describing things, Nicole. Always enjoy your poetry.
                             Ida

ebonygirl
Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000
California U.S.A
2 posted 2012-01-28 12:31 PM


Nicole, how do you do it? To design the images, the message, so beautifully.

"... and in breaths she pled, softly; and he nodded,
and unraveled her intentions one thread at a time.

... he would crawl into her skin then;
push out and fill her breath,
wearing her like a jacket,
fleece- lined and lovely."
Beautiful,
Ms. E

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
3 posted 2012-01-28 12:33 PM


Love this!  And the first two lines are awesome.

j.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
4 posted 2012-01-28 01:28 PM


What can I say? That hasn't been said. You presented this poem with such softness and love. Superb. Superbowl poetry!

~*~ I gave up feeling guilty just to survive a long time ago ~*~

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
5 posted 2012-01-29 05:02 AM


Ms Nicole, even the in and out of caustic worshiper of blue mirrors would bow at this sigh song.  Enjoyed it lady


Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
6 posted 2012-01-29 10:05 AM


Ida and Ms E - thank you both, so much.  Your replies are lovely, and make me smile.  

j - Thanks!   I thought of the first two lines when I had my hands plunged elbow-deep in dishwater, and I made a HUGE mess trying to write them down before I forgot them.  Everything else seemed to fall into place.

Jerry - You've said plenty enough for me, with just that.  Thank you

D - Why, thank you sug

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

7 posted 2012-01-30 03:26 PM



"before the industrious hum of the cicadas,
before the lonely ochre cry of the
sandhill crane, across the wetlands.
on the cusp of dawn, when light is soft;
they discover her watershed"

ahh now this... i can see on canvas...

too beautiful!

:-)



Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
8 posted 2012-01-30 04:59 PM


The visuals throughout this piece are so vivid, Nicole.  Wonderful imagery - I particularly loved these lines,

"and unraveled her intentions one thread at a time."
"and a look that climbs as ivy, shaded;"
"wearing her like a jacket, fleece-lined and lovely."

Such a beautiful write, much enjoyed.

Best wishes,
/Kit

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
9 posted 2012-01-30 08:48 PM


Excellent poetry, story, and form.
I can relate to every word, seems like I have experienced these same vibrations, only in a different room....:-)

Well done, Nicole

Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
10 posted 2012-01-30 08:57 PM


The safety and peace of your watershed is something I have witnessed in you poetry a couple of times now.  To have looked up the term and be able to picture you on this high ground where all troubles flows past on either side, not capable of reaching you, and whom you've chosen to share this sacred place with, grants much perspective.  A beautifully rendered piece.  I like your softer side.

Michael

Spiros Zafiris
Senior Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 982
Canada
11 posted 2012-01-31 02:39 AM


..yes, 'tis the very impressive
poem we dream up and we wake and
tell ourselves, "i wish
i could remember it now"

tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
12 posted 2012-01-31 04:13 AM


wonderful write in so many ways, your way with words and the visual journey is fabulous Nicole   

Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe
                        — W. E. Channing

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
13 posted 2012-01-31 02:50 PM


When lines this beautiful knock on your mind's door, a mess of dishwater on the floor is small price. *S*
Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
14 posted 2012-02-01 08:02 AM


Em - Thank you, lovely.  

Kit - Thank you so much!

ice - Was that you?     Thank you

Michael - Thank you hon, I may be covered with barbs but I have a soft belly-side.  

tracie66 - so sweet, thank you!

suthern - Right?  I've made plenty of messes in my time trying to reach for a pen and paper.  More reason why I should just have them hanging around my neck lol.

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
15 posted 2012-02-01 11:12 PM


"the night, for her, gives way to a gentler murmur
and a look that climbs as ivy, shaded;
that ripples the dark pools of doubt
until there is a loosening, a breaking
that wraps sounds like colors
and her mind is like wildflowers, fielded and vibrant."

A poetic watershed.
Loved this verse best.

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
16 posted 2012-02-05 02:15 PM


Nicole,

I, too, love how you use words to create a painting and feeling inside me.  You make me understand by holding my hand and taking me through each beautiful line you write.  Know what I mean, bean?  Love this.

A

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
17 posted 2012-02-08 07:56 PM


JL - thank you, I'm so pleased  

Alison - That, is an amazing reply...and it's very touching.  I feel like I struggle so much trying to just get the words out, and your understanding is a gift.     Thanks hon

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