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Open Poetry #48

Surrender

Nocturnal Pulse
Member

since 2010-08-12

Posts 84
Australia

0 posted 2012-01-23 01:40 PM

Surrender - Made on impulse, a brief poem about how I feel when I remember a certain somebody.

Forever is a long, long time to ignore me
but we don’t have forever, do we?
even the mountains bow to the sea,
eventually.
a mistake becomes mere blunder,
as cloud soaks up the lightening
and smothers the thunder.
until I’m awash in dreams of
sheer surprise and wonder.
dreams bent on delusion,
despite no confusion
I still linger a while,
on your amber spots
and speckled smile.

searching for hidden hearts
In corridors of dark
where every move you made
left it’s mark.
that’s where you stay,
In my memory everyday
In all I can remember,
In you swoop and
out sweeps my surrender.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

1 posted 2012-01-23 02:08 PM

Brilliantly conceived and expertly written. A lament of pain what most of us have been privy to. Enjoyed this immensely.

~*~ I gave up feeling guilty just to survive a long time ago ~*~

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

2 posted 2012-01-23 02:17 PM

I am sorry you are going through the pain you portrayed so beautifully in your poem.

Owl

Nocturnal Pulse
Member

since 2010-08-12

Posts 84
Australia

3 posted 2012-01-24 03:48 AM

Thank you both for your kindness, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

4 posted 2012-01-25 01:19 AM

I have felt this, but never expressed it so well.

A

Nocturnal Pulse
Member

since 2010-08-12

Posts 84
Australia

5 posted 2012-01-26 04:38 AM

I think sometimes feeling it is quite enough, rather than continue to dwell, haha.

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