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Passions in Poetry

First Impression?

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SlowlyFallAway
Member
since 08-29-2008
Posts 279
North Carolina


0 posted 12-30-2010 11:03 PM       View Profile for SlowlyFallAway   Email SlowlyFallAway   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for SlowlyFallAway

The taste of agony, a hint of passion
You possess a brutal influence
I thought nothing of
Until the day you let me burn
Inside the kiln we used to glaze our dreams
A bad memory
Or maybe just the awareness
Of a life you left behind
In hopes to turn from a former love
You devoted your whole world to one night
Still getting nothing more
Than a lifetime of regret
And an existence bound to burden
I waited
Through anxious conversations
And nights I feared would never end
Because you spoke grim words of hesitation
With a tone of indecision
That forced me not to feel
And left me floating carelessly
Through a town much more deserted
Than my very first impressions


Emily Shives
December 30th 2010

© Copyright 2010 Emily Shives - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat
Senior Member
since 10-30-2010
Posts 1985
Louisiana/America


1 posted 12-30-2010 11:10 PM       View Profile for JerryPat   Email JerryPat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JerryPat's Home Page   View IP for JerryPat

The yin and yang of loves community, or town as you penned it, is fraught with magic and despair, both causes more emotional waste than we really need.

This poem meant, to me, that someone was having a mighty struggle and was undecided as to what he really wanted from this love affair, or even it was a love affair, or merely the getting to that point.

You stretched out the indecision perfectly and I loved this poem.
ethome
Member Patricius
since 05-14-2000
Posts 11545
New Brunswick Canada


2 posted 12-31-2010 06:42 AM       View Profile for ethome   Email ethome   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ethome's Home Page   View IP for ethome

Nicely done Emily
First impression.........
That's verisimilitude of the gamble and we all play our hands at the same table.

AND, just sometimes, yes sometimes we even win!
Trauma comes in many forms doesn't it?

Loved this!

Eric

ain't doin nothin at all just answerin the call
and kinda driftin away from it all

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Elite
since 10-10-2009
Posts 4313
Fair to middlin'


3 posted 12-31-2010 07:34 AM       View Profile for Lori Grosser Rhoden   Email Lori Grosser Rhoden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lori Grosser Rhoden

Loved this too!  You paint your picture so well, I recognize people and places.
Lori
Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 01-30-2000
Posts 2636
Sippin a Timmy's in London


4 posted 12-31-2010 12:31 PM       View Profile for Rex Allen McCoy   Email Rex Allen McCoy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rex Allen McCoy's Home Page   View IP for Rex Allen McCoy

how many chances do we give or get, to make first impression ...

nice writing
XGarapanX
Senior Member
since 06-19-2008
Posts 1416
Rekjavik Iceland


5 posted 12-31-2010 02:19 PM       View Profile for XGarapanX   Email XGarapanX   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit XGarapanX's Home Page   View IP for XGarapanX

You possess a brutal influence
I thought nothing of
Until the day you let me burn...

Raw and well conveyed

·´~`·­»Garapan«­·´~`·

 
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