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Open Poetry #46
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SlowlyFallAway
Member
since 2008-08-29
Posts 279
North Carolina

0 posted 2010-12-30 11:03 PM


The taste of agony, a hint of passion
You possess a brutal influence
I thought nothing of
Until the day you let me burn
Inside the kiln we used to glaze our dreams
A bad memory
Or maybe just the awareness
Of a life you left behind
In hopes to turn from a former love
You devoted your whole world to one night
Still getting nothing more
Than a lifetime of regret
And an existence bound to burden
I waited
Through anxious conversations
And nights I feared would never end
Because you spoke grim words of hesitation
With a tone of indecision
That forced me not to feel
And left me floating carelessly
Through a town much more deserted
Than my very first impressions


Emily Shives
December 30th 2010


© Copyright 2010 Emily Shives - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat
Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991
Louisiana/America
1 posted 2010-12-30 11:10 PM


The yin and yang of loves community, or town as you penned it, is fraught with magic and despair, both causes more emotional waste than we really need.

This poem meant, to me, that someone was having a mighty struggle and was undecided as to what he really wanted from this love affair, or even it was a love affair, or merely the getting to that point.

You stretched out the indecision perfectly and I loved this poem.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
2 posted 2010-12-31 06:42 AM


Nicely done Emily
First impression.........
That's verisimilitude of the gamble and we all play our hands at the same table.

AND, just sometimes, yes sometimes we even win!
Trauma comes in many forms doesn't it?

Loved this!

Eric

ain't doin nothin at all just answerin the call
and kinda driftin away from it all

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
3 posted 2010-12-31 07:34 AM


Loved this too!  You paint your picture so well, I recognize people and places.
Lori

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London
4 posted 2010-12-31 12:31 PM


how many chances do we give or get, to make first impression ...

nice writing

XGarapanX
Senior Member
since 2008-06-19
Posts 1435
Antarctica
5 posted 2010-12-31 02:19 PM


You possess a brutal influence
I thought nothing of
Until the day you let me burn...

Raw and well conveyed

·´~`·­»Garapan«­·´~`·

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