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Open Poetry #46
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ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

0 posted 2010-12-30 05:50 PM


I often wondered how
within the feeling of your pulse
you could cast off love
and get achieved results
but then I got to know you
the things you'd been through
I knew that love was just a word
that pushed you from the truth

But then you let things out
those things a hurt will hide
most can't help themself
comes from the needs inside
I stupidly wanted to bed you
thinking that a common soothe
but you're made of stars and scars
and I was just a fool

your guard was up
while you were pleading
to fill an empty hole
and totally convinced yourself
you could never stretch the role
but DNA and RNA all the new found rules
can't explain the connective rain
that fills all vibes with jewells

I caught your eyes
They stole a look
while I was watching falling snow
I filled your eyes with my heart
you let your guard down slow
nothing then could make us part
from that moment we did yield
to the cause without a reason
that cures hearts that don't feel.

ain't doin nothin at all just answerin the call
and kinda driftin away from it all

© Copyright 2010 Eric Lewis True - All Rights Reserved
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
1 posted 2010-12-30 06:40 PM


I caught your eyes
They stole a look
while I was watching falling snow
I filled your eyes with my heart


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well I'm going to have to come back to this, it's a bit painful in a beautiful way....and I'm getting way too emotional sitting here, sobbing!  

I do love this~  

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London
2 posted 2010-12-30 06:53 PM


beautifully written piece

last verse, my favorite

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

3 posted 2010-12-30 07:16 PM


I loved this and while we as human beings are so much alike, men and women are so very different, and you have touched it dead on target...very well done...nice to read you...


JerryPat
Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991
Louisiana/America
4 posted 2010-12-30 08:12 PM


I relate. Third wife. Both of us wearing that shield in front of us. Been hurt. Did hurt. Still, needing physical comfort we took each other on. Damned it it didn't work. These lines, "I knew that love was just a word / that pushed you from the truth" resonate my friend.

To mimic is a form of praise unless
you have no thoughts of your own

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
5 posted 2010-12-30 08:16 PM


Hi Blues
Glad you did read and loved it.
Hope you come back I really appreciate it.

Eric

_________________________________

Rex
Thanks for the read and complimenting comment.
Much appreciated.

Eric

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
6 posted 2010-12-30 08:17 PM


A very thoughtful and understanding write.Good one.latearrival
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
7 posted 2010-12-30 08:23 PM


Thank you LeeJ
Yes, we are different but we do compliment each other if we work at polishing it and realizing the difference.

I for one sure am glad you beautiful women aren't like men in any way. That would be a drag!

Eric

________________________

Hey Jerry

We all go down a lot of roads and I know where you're coming from. But the possibilities of happiness rest solely on our own willingness to forgive and how hard we are willing to work at it all.

I think a good marriage is made up of two very good forgivers, if that makes any sense??

Eric

ain't doin nothin at all just answerin the call
and kinda driftin away from it all

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
8 posted 2010-12-30 08:25 PM


Hello mother latearrival.
Thanks for dropping in and for the positive comment.

Eric

ain't doin nothin at all just answerin the call
and kinda driftin away from it all

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
9 posted 2010-12-30 10:05 PM


A very powerful write.

"but you're made of stars and scars
and I was just a fool"

These lines were particularly captivating to my mind. Perhaps there was much there to echo a distant truth. Thanks for sharing. Peace.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
10 posted 2010-12-31 03:22 AM


Thank you Andrew

I understand your reply concerning those lines. There's skeletons everywhere.

Thanks for the opening comment.

Take care

Eric

ain't doin nothin at all just answerin the call
and kinda driftin away from it all

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
11 posted 2010-12-31 07:18 AM


Eric- Guess you have to stand in line to applaud this poem! I saw myself in this piece. I like what you said to Jerry about a good marriage being two good forgivers...wise words there.  I'm enjoying your work very much.
Lori

Klassy Lassy
Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187
Oregon
12 posted 2010-12-31 10:32 AM


The general conception is that we will be whole when we find the perfect mate, but a wise person once told me that when the half that I am is whole, then I would find my other half.   What a gift of thought that substance of heart is!  And strangely enough, with all the looking, sometimes eyes are not open to it.  

More recently I was told a story about the sun, the wind, and the rain having a discussion.  The wind said he had blown across a deep dark shadow and try as he might, he couldn't dispel the darkness. So the rain said he would give it a shot, but he also soon returned glum, tearful, and defeated.  They told the sun there was no way to solve the dilemma, so the sun went to check it out.  He soon returned smiling.  He said, I couldn't find a shadow!  I think to fill someone's eyes with your heart may blind them at first with the radiance, but can't think of a better way to dispel the shadows!!! That substance is priceless. ~K  


Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
13 posted 2010-12-31 10:52 AM


ET...perfect views of heart bugs hitting the windsheld..enjoyed it !!
Misty Lilacs
Senior Member
since 2005-11-15
Posts 1060
White Birch Forest
14 posted 2010-12-31 01:55 PM


Awwww ... an awesome write that tugs at many heartstrings!
Great write Eric.

ooxx  Marti

I do the <color=orange><b>MS Walk</color></b> everyday!!

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
15 posted 2010-12-31 02:20 PM


I enjoyed your perspicacious and instrospective view point, especially your last stanza and the twist at the end of it.  Whilst, like Klassy Lassy, I agree with your view point about 2 forgivers - I have also realised that both people really need to be on the same wavelength and also to be right for each other.  Personally, I much prefer to be alone than experience the loneliness of being with the wrong man - a mistake I made all too often.

Owl

XGarapanX
Senior Member
since 2008-06-19
Posts 1435
Antarctica
16 posted 2010-12-31 02:31 PM


Thoughtful and sensitive.

·´~`·­»Garapan«­·´~`·

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
17 posted 2011-01-01 08:07 AM


Thank you Lori
I'm pleased that you consider that sound advice and also you enjoyed this write. I appreciate the comments very much

Eric

-------------------------------

Thank you Klassy
Very nicely thought out. Thanks for sharing that.
Love the story of the sun, wind and rain. Thanks for the substance comment.
Have a great day!

Eric

ain't doin nothin at all just answerin the call
and kinda driftin away from it all

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
18 posted 2011-01-01 08:11 AM


Hey DS you always get a smile out of me and I appreciate that, heart bugs hitting the windshield.

Many thanks

Eric

____________________________________


Marti

That's a very kind comment and thanks for letting me tug!

Eric

ain't doin nothin at all just answerin the call
and kinda driftin away from it all

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
19 posted 2011-01-01 08:17 AM


Hi Owl
It's a gamble we might try too many times but then we all fall for it over and over.
Beside being lodged in the heart it's a built-in biological function.
However, many have avoided the strength of the draw and have chosen to be alone to find much happiness there. Works for some as we're all built different.
Thanks for your insightful comment.

Eric

--------------------------------

Garapan
Thanks for that kind comment and the visit.

Eric

ain't doin nothin at all just answerin the call
and kinda driftin away from it all

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
20 posted 2011-01-03 12:35 PM


Lovely, sensitive poem, Eric, Many beautiful lines.
                           Ida

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
21 posted 2011-01-03 01:29 PM


Thanks so much Ida
Good to receive your visit and comments.

Eric

ain't doin nothin at all just answerin the call
and kinda driftin away from it all

mikeandrew
Member
since 2010-11-18
Posts 198

22 posted 2011-01-03 06:58 PM


that was very emotional poem i like the rhythm you used .
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
23 posted 2011-01-03 09:14 PM


Thanks Mike
I appreciate the visit and the kind words. Come back anytime.

Eric

ain't doin nothin at all just answerin the call
and kinda driftin away from it all

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