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Open Poetry #46
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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2010-12-30 11:01 AM



you were lovely how you rose there
from the lipstick of the water
like a butterfly from her cocoon

but you arrived without struggle
more angelic as if wings were expected
and not just temporary adornments

and your glances were enchantments
wafting here and there under oak limbs
perhaps they were secrets escaping

or secrets being created for later on
when you had on your look back hem
barely covering those residue sensations

and your voice was wordless as moan music


_______________

daark


© Copyright 2010 ©Dark 2k - All Rights Reserved
Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
1 posted 2010-12-30 11:09 AM


Beautiful weave, Dark...I hope and wonder if all your readers take the time to notice the music within the words...your lovely sonics, embedded rhyme...not to mention the font of perpetual metaphor, never stale or re-run! You are amazing.

A

A pile of scribbles here:
http://sharonleighpoetry.blogspot.com

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
2 posted 2010-12-30 11:16 AM


ms a'mary..you bless me with your reads and comments..humble thanks lady!!
JerryPat
Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991
Louisiana/America
3 posted 2010-12-30 01:58 PM


Oh, I noticed the music within the words, Amaryllis. That is usually the case with daark.

Another thing I noticed were the secrets. I seem to have opened a large can of secrets recently. I see quite a few poems dealing with the subject, and in fact a poem I wrote today, which wasn't supposed to be about secrets, just happened to veer into them.

Love the hell out of the two words of the poem, "moan music."

To mimic is a form of praise unless
you have no thoughts of your own

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
4 posted 2010-12-30 02:30 PM


thanks JP, I appreciate your reviews
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
5 posted 2010-12-30 06:17 PM


and your glances were enchantments
wafting here and there under oak limbs
perhaps they were secrets escaping

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

D~ you have a way of unfolding the feelings, that newness,
the unexpected and thrill of it all, and the beauty of a heart in flight.

Happy New Year, slick stuff~

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
6 posted 2010-12-30 06:27 PM


what a beautiful trip!

Love that last line and all the images leading up to it.

What you see and sometimes never comment on is bewildering.

Great work!!
Eric

ain't doin nothin at all just answerin the call
and kinda driftin away from it all

Klassy Lassy
Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187
Oregon
7 posted 2010-12-30 10:07 PM


There is something extremely sensual about rising like an angel born from water.  Nothing asymetrical mars the reflection of perfection.  And the kiss lingers...It's ethereal, something akin to a pheonix rising, but with decided feminity. I doubt this mystery could bear the weight of words, only the aura of livling revelations.  Imagination scuplting loveliness.
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
8 posted 2010-12-30 10:15 PM


Required several reads, which was a good thing in my mind. Those last four lines kept me coming back for more. Thanks for sharing.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
9 posted 2010-12-31 06:54 AM


babyblue, thanks babe..and HNY to you too.

___________

ms kl, thanks lady friend for the depth of your reads, I do feel your eyes on the word sounds.


________________

eric, thanks amigo, I appreciate your reads.


________________

andrew, thanks guy for the reads and comments

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
10 posted 2010-12-31 01:33 PM


okay, so now you have my permission
to steal away just a little more
this next year...



smooth soothe, sir...

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
11 posted 2010-12-31 04:13 PM


ms sun...you make me crave veils...with wind behind them..thanks lady
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
12 posted 2011-01-06 02:05 AM


Beautiful. Did you know that I really like your poetry?

Ali-san

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