navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #46 » Be my Sunshine...
Open Poetry #46
Post A Reply Post New Topic Be my Sunshine... Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Prats
Member
since 2010-12-16
Posts 74


0 posted 2010-12-24 08:37 AM


Deep in my heart I'm concealing things,
that I'm longing to say;
Scared to confess what I'm feeling,
frightened you'll slip away.

I always wonder what you’re thinking,
When I look at you,
But I’m afraid to say anything,
Don’t u feel this too?

When I’m with or around you,
I just lose myself,
Your heart is the only place where,
I want to dwell.

I know someday, u’ll have a beautiful life,
Every thing ideally aligned.
I know, u’ll be a sun in someone else’s sky,
Why can’t it be mine???
Why, why can't you
be my sunshine...???

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile... :D

© Copyright 2010 Prats - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat
Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991
Louisiana/America
1 posted 2010-12-24 08:57 AM


Beautiful poem, Prats even if I cringe whenever I see the letter "u" used for the "you" word.

. . . and the raven said, )!(%!~@~#&$ . . .

[This message has been edited by JerryPat (12-24-2010 09:46 AM).]

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
2 posted 2010-12-24 09:29 AM


I agree Prats this is a well balanced flowing bluesy write!
However, I'm a cringer like Jerry. Us old school guys you know!

Really well done this poem!

Eric

ain't doin nothin at all just answerin the call
and kinda driftin away from it all

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
3 posted 2010-12-24 01:20 PM


Ditto on shortcuts - However, I sure hope you wrote this for someone special, as they will treasure your thoughts.  Merry Christmas!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2010-12-24 08:28 PM


Hello Prats...I can only echo the above...
you've got style and class...accuracy will
only make it last!

As for being one Sunshine myself, sometimes
only daddys can put that title on their
little girls.

Merry Christmas!


Prats
Member
since 2010-12-16
Posts 74

5 posted 2010-12-25 07:09 AM


Thank you for your comments, everyone.... I'll definitely work on not using shortcuts on this site...

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile... :D

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
6 posted 2010-12-26 05:49 PM


Beautiful words, really. If you choose her to be your sunshine, she is, even if she does not know it.

Love,
Margherita

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #46 » Be my Sunshine...

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary