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Open Poetry #46
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Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan

0 posted 2010-12-22 01:06 PM



I walked between the eyeliner
Tip-toed along her feet

She took her hair
As if she was a doll
Waiting for her mother to brush it,
Stroke by stroke,
Just before she went to bed

Another Saturday afternoon
Just as she was a child
Sitting along the swings
With her father pushing her farther and farther

She was going to a place
Where the people that saw her
Were like souls between the sun and her eyes

Pushing her so hard,
Her body shook like the grass
Waving its points until the night came.

Her father waited for her,
Nudged her along,
Waited for her small little stockings
To cringe as the night slipped into the winter cold,

For another night came,
Another day waited,
She had her motherÕs eyes
So her father patiently waited.

© Copyright 2010 Tomer Fried - All Rights Reserved
easy1
Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209
Southeastern USA
1 posted 2010-12-23 10:33 AM


Some men are worthy fathers, some are really good except for a few mediocrities, and some are not.

I like the souls between the sun and eyes phrase---quite poetic description from (prepubescent) memory, and that takes talent...

An appreciated write---thanks for the interesting read.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
2 posted 2010-12-23 12:04 PM


Wow! Very interesting.
His wait this time??

Love the ambiguity of this piece, it held me like a magnet.

Eric

ain't doin nothin at all just answerin the call
and kinda driftin away from it all

Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
3 posted 2010-12-24 12:55 PM


Thanks, Easy...always appreciate your insight.  Hope all is well.
Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
4 posted 2010-12-26 09:01 PM


Happy you enjoyed, Eric.  Take care

Cheers

JerryPat
Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991
Louisiana/America
5 posted 2010-12-26 10:09 PM


Nicely penned, with oassion.

To mimic is a form of praise unless
you have no thoughts of your own

Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
6 posted 2010-12-27 12:52 PM


Thanks, Jerry...appreciate the kind words

Cheers

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