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Open Poetry #46
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ILoveTheRain
Member
since 2008-03-02
Posts 157
GA

0 posted 2010-12-16 12:48 PM



Unthought words from your sweet lips
With selfish arogance blowing through the air
Plunging every feeling for you
Into the ground, deep with despair

Uncertain about the rainy days
Feeling lost in this mass darkness
No matter the distance to run
It’s always a mysterious, sinister dead end

© Copyright 2010 Jessica - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
1 posted 2010-12-16 02:56 AM


Well, now, this is a dark but wonderfully thought provoking piece.
I think a new boyfriend is in order!
That ending seems so down but I understand the direction.
Good stuff!

Eric

This band's won two grammys for instrumentals. You don't know how that makes me feel as the lead singer!

JerryPat
Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991
Louisiana/America
2 posted 2010-12-16 08:10 AM


Hah! I know about dead ends. You captured the essence wonderfully.

http://swamprighter.wordpress.com/

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
3 posted 2010-12-16 08:40 AM


Hey I think the guys are on the ball with this one (they have been around this block a time or two) You are young and love is all around you. Good write
Lori

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
4 posted 2010-12-16 12:06 PM


Sounds like a bad dream where you get no where fast.

Enjoyed your poem, especially the visuals.

Prats
Member
since 2010-12-16
Posts 74

5 posted 2010-12-18 09:13 AM


Wow, nice poem... thats the state of my mind on some days... after facing rejection...

Heaven is not that place where you go when you die... it's that time in your life when you actually feel ALIVE!!!

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