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Open Poetry #46
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Mourning Toward The Void
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Mourning Toward The Void |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America 
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in the burial ground of discord williwaw rules the night gusts so powerful so intrusive even the dead are frightened one lone man sits among ancient bones hearing whispers and sobs and regrets of discontented souls those who cannot leave this place solitary tear falls on wrinkled, sad face among the dead it is he who holds the secret of those entombed the ones who moan his name is notlob and he is damned midnight screeching on this night moon so cold looking I'm sure she's a virgin an oscar says because he is wilde among the strong gusts voices heard cataract eyes look but do not see blinded as a child to ward off temptation and concentrate on the graveyard of withered saints please take me away I've served my time notlob, on his knees sobbing not a figment of his imagination please harkens to the sound of laughter silence comes again, only graves talk in the hour of darkest night he is lost in the bog aching for something called affection remembers the name but not the occurrence in the dark he loses hope in the burial ground of discord williwaw rules the night gusts so powerful so intrusive even the dead are frightened . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$! |
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| © Copyright 2010 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: That's really very sad, but too many can relate no doubt. The coldness is deeply felt. But with dawn hope will come back ... because what is mourning after all? It is love ... and love is light. An excellent write. Nice to "see" you.  Love, Margherita |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
Thank you very much, Margherita , for being here. Love. So much emotion which means so many different things to so many different people. Appreciate your input. . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$! |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
I think "those who cannot leave this place" just didn't bother to prepare beforehand. That being as it may, rather a sad write for a season that's supposed to be merry. Then again, nothing is ever as it's supposed to be, right? Helen |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
Pardon my crassness, Helen, for posting something sad. My bad. . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$! |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
First of all, let me say... I like the tone and feel of this piece. No surprise there. But there were a few items that had me puzzled. So, after the first two readings I had to go do some fact finding... just so I could understand a little bit more than I did and hopefully dig up some hidden meaning. I now know what a williwaw is, and confirmed my knowledge of oscar. But "notlob" still has me fishing around for an answer. I did find this tidbit: "Bolton spelt backwards, immortalised as a failed palindrome in Monty Python's Dead Parrot Sketch." I don't think that has anything to do with it... wink, wink, nudge, nudge, know what I mean? know what I mean? Because I sure don't! All the same, my rambling aside, an enjoyable piece. "We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." [This message has been edited by Andrew Scott (12-04-2010 09:10 PM).] |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
Whot's a Monty Python? As a matter of fact, whot's a Bolton? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Uh huh. Haha! Thanks for the excellent way you went about reading my effort, Andrew. Uh, whot's an oscar. Haha!2 . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$! |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
1 More snake than any Englishman can handle. 2 Some guy who plays piano in the desert. Or was that Tesh? 3 A gold plated phallic symbol one receives after a lot of wasted celluloid. "We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
"A gold plated phallic symbol one receives after a lot of wasted celluloid." Couldn't agree more with this one. You are sharp today. . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$! |
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Prasad Nataraj Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149Bangalore,India |
Dark, sad write, here, Jerry. Its good to read them to appreciate the simple gifts of life and not to take everything for granted. "Hardwork pays in the long run" |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
I enjoyed reading your poem and hearing a wonderful rhythm and blending of sounds. I noticed and enjoyed your word play. misce' |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
With the good comes the sad, I suppose, Prasad. That is the only way to look at it I suppose. thanks for the uplifting comment. <><><><> That is very kind of you, misce'. thank you for being here. . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$! |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
an oscar says because he is wilde~~made me smile Your words and the responses are fun to read and lead one to seek out the meanings of unfamiliar words. M |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
You are kind, M, and I thank you for that and for being here. . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$! |
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flash Member
since 2010-11-28
Posts 213miami beach, florida |
JerryPat: nice poetic flow..even tho the theme may be of a foreboding ominous nature. The wayward restless williwaw wind weaves a sinuous path throughout..add the helpless palindrome notlob..and you have a graveyard tale of woe. All that is needed now are the black crows flying over the coffin.. no no..enuf despair! Al |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Hello Jerry, the atmosphere of the poem is prosperous to offer the truth of mournings, I love the alternative ways of verses and stanzas, stanzas echoing a verse... some verses are deep and sad thanks for the moving write silence comes again, only graves talk have a nice day yann |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
Sorry Al, I'll rewrite it and put crows/ravens and a hodgepodge of equally ominous creatures into it. Thanks for the tip. I know you said there was enough despair, but I know you were merely joshing. Haha! <><><><> Thanks, yann, for you observant comments on my poem, they are appreciated. . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$! |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Very atmospheric.. you certainly hit the tone you were intending, with this one... I enjoyed your word-play, engaging and interesting, Jerry! Best~ Amaryllis |
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s1nfully_1nn0c3nt Senior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 1105Watertown, NY |
Riveting, and at the end I was left with frost bite  Loved the word play and flow. Enjoyed.-Trina. |
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mikeandrew Member
since 2010-11-18
Posts 198 |
wonderful work i enjoyed the oscar-wilde line. |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
Thanks Amaryllis, Trina and Mike. . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$! |
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