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s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

0 posted 2010-12-02 06:21 AM

take it all back
the world
which you gave
my shoulders can't
bear the weight

take it all back
the sky
for its too vast
and I can't inhibit
the thunder and lightning

take it all back
the moon
and the stars even
for they have lost
their shine and twinkle

take it all back
the diamonds
the radiance blinds me
and the coldness
is all too familiar

take it all back
everything
that you promised me
its all meaningless
without your heart

the world, the sky
the moon, the stars
the diamonds,
your promises
take it all back

and return my heart.

-Trina.

"A heart that can't feel its broken- can't heal."

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

1 posted 2010-12-02 08:56 AM

Great impassioned plea for reclaiming her life. Take it all back and depart fool.

. . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$!

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

2 posted 2010-12-02 06:03 PM

it's all meaningless
without your heart

That's indeed the impression we get, you rendered this pain very well.
Take your heart back and wrap it in your own love and tenderness.
Love,
Margherita

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

3 posted 2010-12-02 11:38 PM

The pain of unfulfilled love is purely felt here Trina.
Just wonderful expression!

Eric

Prasad Nataraj
Senior Member

since 2008-05-29

Posts 1149
Bangalore,India

4 posted 2010-12-03 03:50 AM

Fine writing, Trina. Painful thoughts, well expressed.

"Hardwork pays in the long run"

Novus_Os
Member

since 2010-07-21

Posts 115
West Coast, USA

5 posted 2010-12-03 10:26 PM

Beautiful, and direct, and honestly done.
Thanks,

Novus_Os

Life is meant to be enjoyed, not just endured.

Earl Brinkman
Senior Member

since 2010-03-03

Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan

6 posted 2010-12-05 06:07 AM

Another example of fine writing. Good work.

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

7 posted 2010-12-05 03:07 PM

Enjoyed this very much! LGR

soul drifter
Senior Member

since 2004-09-08

Posts 711
Colorado

8 posted 2010-12-06 02:37 PM

Wonderful! Sing-songy and real, it will remain in my mind for some time. Great job!

flash
Member

since 2010-11-28

Posts 213
miami beach, florida

9 posted 2010-12-07 08:43 AM

Trina: nice cadence & repetitious phrasing for effect..lesson learned the hard way: hold on to your heart--at all costs.

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

10 posted 2010-12-09 09:04 AM

Jerry, Marg, Eric, Prasad, Novous, Earl, Lori, Soul, Flash- Thanx!

-Trina.

You'd be surprised by the pain I can imagine inflicting and receiving.

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