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Open Poetry #46
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Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

0 posted 2010-11-26 03:37 PM



She was for sale
As were all things
At the corner of Lou’s Loans
She’d worked others
But somehow something always brought her back
Age had waged its war
With scattered scars scoring her skin
But the curves still called
While strobing red screaming neon nightlights
Painted a rosy blush
That feigned a more youthful polish
Suitors?
Sure, she’d known her share
Some good
Most bad
Only one worth considering
Her first
But that was long ago
A lover’s lost touch in time
An echoed memory heard in those who’d come afterwards
And now she faced yet another
In a long line of hopeful but failed masters
This one would be no different
This one was old
Too old
Old enough to know better
But his paper was green
And who was she to say “No”
Everything on Lou’s corner has its price

Times it was right there
Others in a dark ally
Or subway
Tonight favored a fallen down second floor flop
The room’s singular distinction resting in a gold plated watch
Fifty years in the making
Keeping time next to a black and white flame
Held by silver frame
Long since lost to the hour
Everything else was a gray wash
It wouldn’t be long
Nicotine stained fingers beating a ceaseless staccato
And two bags of broken glass at every breath said as much
No… Not long at all
But he showed no interest in exploring his purchase
Though upon the bed she lay
Black leather suit stripped
He made no play
So she waited
Waited through whisky-tea
Smoking drags
Coughing jags
The rinse of red rags
Waited
Silently still
Waited till
Reaching out
With tentative touch
An amateur’s clutch?
Virginity’s first?
Too late for that thirst
A surprisingly firm hand found her key
Then knowing lips the source
And from a long locked heart
Sprang a soul set free
To soar in true unity
For it was he
The one of many
The one that mattered
The one that set her soul to sing
Her first
And how her heart desired
Her last
As they made the love of the lost now found
In late night hours that turn to morn
Two becoming one
With the coming sun
Neither wishing it to end
Each knowing the truth
Not long at all

Morning found her alone
Cradled in the crook of his arm
Pale lips dyed in broken glass
Fitful fingers forever still
Golden time keeping watch
Till the lord came to call for past rent due
Payment came from Lou
Silver frame
Gold watch
And she
The three
The sum value of his life paid out
Now standing vigil on the corner
Awaiting the next hopeful buyer
But she knowing
There never will be another
To match her soul
Try as they might
He died that night
Everything has its price at Lou’s


© Copyright 2010 Andrew Scott - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat
Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991
Louisiana/America
1 posted 2010-11-26 03:58 PM


Allouette's predecessor it seems. I like this. You have to have walked the mean streets to understand certain nuances, and this, to me has those nuances in spades. Sometimes when you are near Lou's every day you wonder what is keeping you there, but you know, it is the darkness within. It is always the darkness within. Her lost love found her and released her to her fate.

Damn good writing.


. . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$!

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
2 posted 2010-11-26 04:16 PM


Hey Jerry, thanks for the read and write.

In the past I played a guessing game as to who was the subject of this poem. To be fair, I'll just say it is a saxophone. Lou's is really nothing more than a pawn shop where she's been bought and sold several times. But as you pointed out, there is much more to this piece than what is at the surface. Again, thanks for the read and write. Peace.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2010-11-26 09:50 PM


Andrew...why have you stayed away so long?

Welcome back...

Now, be a good poet, and bleed some more.



I'm so glad I'm staying up "late" tonight.




Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
4 posted 2010-11-26 09:58 PM


Sunshine: In truth, I've been hanging out here most of the day... floatin' in now and then, while grading papers and listening to some fine music. Thanks for noticing this one. Enjoy the long weekend. Peace.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
5 posted 2010-11-26 11:22 PM


This is fantastic writing... and once you mentioned it may be a saxophone, even better! Layered and evocative..nice one, Andrew.  

~A

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
6 posted 2010-11-26 11:28 PM


Why thank you Amaryllis. It's one of my personal favorites. I bow to you and yours in turn. Peace.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

Earl Brinkman
Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan
7 posted 2010-11-27 06:42 AM


I read this several times, each time coming to a different conclusion as to who or what the subjects were in this piece.  After reading the comments, I read it again letting a saxophone be the subject and it fit.  But still there are passages where I think an old man, an old car or a hooker would fit as well.  I must say this shows  some clever writing on your part.
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
8 posted 2010-11-27 11:55 AM


Thank you, Earl. As you've pointed out, the hooker idea fits, and that's how I identified the saxophone in this piece. The old man was her first owner, but had to give up the music scene for a better paying gig. Others have played her... in the ally, on the subway, and on the corner. But never the way he did. The watch was a retirement gift and the silver frame holds a picture of his departed wife. The old man suffers from Toburculosis, thus, the coughing and blood on the lips. When he dies, the landlord collects the back rent by selling his possessions to Lou's pawn shop.
Someone else once mentioned that the subject could have been a car. I'm not sure where that comes from in the poem. I suppose I have tunnel vision and can only see it as I intended. All the same, thanks for the multiple reads and write. Your words are the coin of the realm. Peace.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

Prasad Nataraj
Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149
Bangalore,India
9 posted 2010-11-27 11:55 AM


Brilliant writing, vivid images flash through my mind. Wonderful read, Andrew.

"Hardwork pays in the long run"

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
10 posted 2010-11-27 12:00 PM


Prasad: And my hat off to you as well. Thanks for the read and write. Peace.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

Misty Lilacs
Senior Member
since 2005-11-15
Posts 1060
White Birch Forest
11 posted 2010-11-27 12:27 PM


WOW! I could see the whole poem in my mind's eye!
Good stuff ...

Marti

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
12 posted 2010-11-27 02:20 PM


Very clever writing here, Andrew.  I must admit to not thinking of a musical instrument while reading so can I bow to a ... "master of deception"?  

Helen  

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
13 posted 2010-11-27 09:20 PM


Misty & Honeybunch: Thank you both for the reads and writes. That it wasn't so obvious means I did something right. Your words are the coin of the realm. Peace.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

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