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Open Poetry #46
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Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now

0 posted 2010-11-21 10:13 PM


Not a bitter, sleeting bite, today-
but the subtle fall of eiderdown
slow, in lazy gatherings of white-
dizzy on November`s final crown.

Listen, where the quiet hollows sleep-
when the slushy flakes anoint the earth,
hear the kiss they give before they die,
watch the swirling eddies of their birth.

From the window, hemlock-framed, and warm-
heavy cedar boughs bend patient, by
dusted Douglas fir, and hide the wren
soon to sing her shivering goodbye.
.
.
.

© Copyright 2010 Amaryllis - All Rights Reserved
2gabby
Junior Member
since 2010-11-21
Posts 23

1 posted 2010-11-21 10:24 PM


love this beautiful imagery and melancholy tone. lovely poem.
JerryPat
Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991
Louisiana/America
2 posted 2010-11-21 10:27 PM


Ah, you paint a wonderful early snowfall picture, Amaryllis. I love snow, but it hardly ever snows down here. There is something about it falling so quietly, with it swirls and updrafts. Yes, it is beautiful to watch even if it is just falling straight down. Your words put me there. Thank you.

. . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$!

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
3 posted 2010-11-21 10:38 PM


Thank you, gabby~~  
.
And thanks, too, Jerry... I wanted to write what I was seeing out my window today, of course... and in truth the flakes were sometimes so huge you could hear them hit the ground~!  O.o  Anyhow, somehow it came out in iambic meter and rhyme...unusual, for me, but it`s fun.  

Thanks for the comment!

Best~
A

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
4 posted 2010-11-21 11:19 PM


Well, it may be unusual for you but your iambic here is absolute perfection! Wunnerrul, wunnerful, wunnerful...
s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 1105
Watertown, NY
5 posted 2010-11-21 11:24 PM


I live on an island in the pacific ocean, so I've never seen snow But when I do experience a "first snow" I hope it how you've described it - Beautiful. Enjoyed.

-Trina.

"A heart that can't feel its broken- can't heal."

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
6 posted 2010-11-22 12:00 PM


Michael, thank you muchly, my friend!     

Trina, thanks, and I`ve never been to the islands... =(   how `bout we trade for a week?  I could use some sunshine right about now...!  

My best~
Amaryllis

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
7 posted 2010-11-22 04:41 AM


Ohhhh, truly a delight to read and to experience, your first snow, thanks to the masterful description.

Love,
Margherita

Prasad Nataraj
Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149
Bangalore,India
8 posted 2010-11-22 05:20 AM


True delight, tropicans dreams I should say. Never experienced snow, however read many of Frost’s works on them. Fine writing, Amaryllis.

"Hardwork pays in the long run"

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
9 posted 2010-11-22 06:48 AM


oh dear! How lovely this is!
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
10 posted 2010-11-22 07:38 AM


Ah, you captured the peace of it all very well.
Bravo!

Eric

Eusta B. Mae
Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903

11 posted 2010-11-22 08:27 AM


You painted a post card! With sounds and everything.  I could practically smell the trees. Loved it! ebm
Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
12 posted 2010-11-22 10:10 AM


Thanks to everyone! It means a lot, as it`s always helpful to know if the poem `works`...much appreciated, all~!

My best~
A

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
13 posted 2010-11-22 10:50 AM


Ours was last Thursday...fat, wet flakes of beauty...only to melt upon landing.

We're told it's going to be a dry winter...
but we live in Kansas...and we've learned
to lean into the minutes carefully.




Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
14 posted 2010-11-22 12:38 PM


Thanks, Karilea... I do enjoy how pretty it is, just in time for turkey day!  I wouldn`t want to live in Kansas or neighboring states... I fear the tornado so much.  =(  Had enough of them even back when I lived in Mi!  

~A

Earl Brinkman
Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan
15 posted 2010-11-27 05:02 PM


Some lovely collocations bring winter to Osaka, Japan, where we don`t get much snow.  Ah....to have slushy flakes that annoint the earth would be a treat.  Thanks for a winter picture.
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
16 posted 2010-11-27 06:44 PM


slow, in lazy gatherings of white-
dizzy on November`s final crown.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh what a beauty this is, breathtaking and a sight to behold.

I Just love reading you, A~ You have a very special gift.


Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
17 posted 2010-11-30 03:16 AM


Thank you so much, Earl Brinkman, and you too, Bluesy! I appreciate your kind comments so much.  

My best~
Amaryllis

A pile of scribbles here:
http://sharonleighpoetry.blogspot.com

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
18 posted 2010-12-01 12:16 PM


I live in So. Cal. so I haven't seen snow for a while. This makes me remember how beautiful it can be.
                             Ida

katahdin
Senior Member
since 2010-07-01
Posts 1196
ME. In the Shadow of the Mt.
19 posted 2010-12-01 12:31 PM


Loved this!! Just beautiful, sounds like you were discribing  Maine.
Kat >^..^<

Novus_Os
Member
since 2010-07-21
Posts 115
West Coast, USA
20 posted 2010-12-01 12:48 PM


That is a great poem.You describe November as like a heavy weight champ is succumbing to the knockout just drifting away...It definitely puts me right there, by the window. The cold outside, the wind howling. The warmth, and comfort, of inside. The melancholy of the passing moment.  
Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
21 posted 2010-12-01 03:06 AM


Thank you very much, Ida, Kat, and Novus! I appreciate that so much  

Best~
Amaryllis

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