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Open Poetry #46
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gdcod3player
Member
since 2009-09-13
Posts 70
California

0 posted 2010-11-20 09:52 PM


The heart you broke is lying all over the floor
Makes me wish you didnt destroy our relationship
My life has been erased
Let me write it in pen again
All i had was you
You have no idea how you make me feel
Let me drag this out until my soul is ripped open wide

I have no one, and you let me go
Could you sense that i was losing control?
I thought you were stronger than me
You proved you weren't independent when you slammed that door
All these questions keep my heart alone
The phone calls that never went through hurt all night
I know you've been broken
The ghost i play in your life is now going away
Disappearing will leave you all alone



© Copyright 2010 Jared Copeland - All Rights Reserved
Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
1 posted 2010-11-21 09:50 PM


I like this but I feel that this could be so much more. Use more metaphor and I think this could be even better then it already its.
2gabby
Junior Member
since 2010-11-21
Posts 23

2 posted 2010-11-21 09:59 PM


touching, i can feel your heartbreak.
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