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Open Poetry #46
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Save Your Song (and give me some space)
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Save Your Song (and give me some space) |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! 
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Brushing against my cold fingers He insinuates his presence upon me Demanding attention, smothering, Sucking precious quiet-time air, (Stop! I silently scream) Sidling against me In an ingratiating manner Persistently, he nudges, insistently Presses until I succumb And embrace him Close against my breasts, Our warmth melds boneless bodies, While his self-satisfaction song Does little to soothe my irritation - Alison (dedicated to Kaz, the cat - it's not all about you! Really! Honest! A bit of space can be a good thing!) |
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| © Copyright 2010 Alison - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
I just love it, Alison! You hook the reader oh-so-well... you had me thinking it was yr man until the mention of Kaz~!  I adore it either way... excellent write.  Amaryllis |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I can't help it when they turn on that purring motor I have to give in. I know, there's times when that loving persistence doesn't fit into the moment. Love the wording and phrasing in this, catches the reader right away. Cleverly done! Eric |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Amaryllis, Thank you for getting me off my duff and attempting to write again. I appreciate you and the beauty of your poetry. xoxoxo Alison - Eric, Thank you so much for reading this and taking the time to let me know how you liked it. Alison |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very clever! Love it! |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
I don't think your cat worries much about what you think because it knows that everything is about him or her. Wonderful write, Alison. Helen |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
Yup. Ya "got" me, and Alison, I love to be "gotten." You wove the words together so expertly that the ending really was a delightful surprise. . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$! |
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Eusta B. Mae Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903 |
Cat Poetry- I love it! Truer words were never wrote about our persistent purr balls. Alison you never disapoint! ebm |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
Ah, cats. I have a few and they're so darned selfish! But somehow, at the end of the day, I realize they're pretty good friends of mine. Enjoyed this. |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
very, very well written, my friend. j. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
I knew it was a cat ..you would have shot a two legged critter that crowded ya, yes? enjoyed it little one |
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Prasad Nataraj Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149Bangalore,India |
Fine writing, Alison. Sometimes these words very much relate to other beings too, make me think. "Hardwork pays in the long run" |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Hey Dixie, Glad you enjoyed. Alison - Helen, You are right. He doesn't care as long as I do what I am supposed to do. Alison - Jerry, Glad that I got you. Thank you for reading. Alison - EBM, Love the "purr ball" - that he is. Thank you for reading along. Alison - Karou, Love all three of my cat friends, but Kaz-Cat is the most demanding for pets. Alison - Jimmy, Thank you so much for popping and in reading. Happy Thanksgiving to you. Alison - Dark Man, Umm, you know it! Ali-san - Prasad, Thank you lots for reading. Alison |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
As a cat lover I certainly can relate to this but the pushy little critters are a joy too. Ida |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
Though allergic, I am fond of cats. The ones I know tend to drink my whiskey and throw wild parties when I'm out of the house, though. Then they look innocent when I get back. I don't even smoke, and they leave butts all over the living room. I was thinking that, having gotten your soft side out here, you might actually consider the possibility of a rewrite and actually intended to be about the occasional guy you know. Maura Stanton in her last book or so has some poems about her cats and they're worth a look, simply to see how she goes about it. I had fun with this, but I suspect that you're stepping back into being authentically nice instead of pushing forward and seeing if there might be a risk you might take in talking about either Self or Other somewhere in this. Even if you do nothing, it'll still be a fun poem. But I think it could be better than that. You might have a look at the Jon Anderson poem called "The Secret of Poetry." It's not the whole truth, but it might be worth thinking about as an occasional balance. Or not, as you wish. All my best, Bob Kaven |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thanks dear Ida, I love them too. Alison - Hey Bob K, Thanks for reading - been awhile since I have read your thoughts, but been a while since I have written too, I guess. quote: Thanks for the "nice" compliment (& pardon the pun), I'll play arond with this - I don't ever intend to stop pushing forward. I am just a pushy kind of woman. Happy Thanksgiving, my friend. Alison |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Sometimes we may not be in the mood, but when we succumb and surrender, the exchange of caresses is always precious. This write is charming and I can relate ... So good to read you, dear Alison. Love, Margherita |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Cute cat!! Wow, your message is spot on. Very good inspiration and analogy. Gotta love your muse, Alison!! Such a great poem!! You go girl!! |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Margherita and Bluesy one ~ Thank you both for understanding, reading and commenting (not in that order). Love you, Alison |
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Daddy Goose38 Member
since 2010-09-04
Posts 430obama's a rice paper tiger |
... Because, Ali, he understands that, despite your upper lip, and even if you can't tell him, he knows that you need him, so at times he may bug you and bug you until you can't resist And he knows you you know he is never too tired to comfort you. How could anyone not have time to comroft the Toots? Daddy goose will always have time to be here for the toots, even if it's just on the computer.:---(a)-------) |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Jaime, You are so danged sweet to me. Thanks for understanding the meaning behind the actions. You got me on that one. I hope you have a happy Thanksgiving. Alison aka The Tootsie Troll |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
simply love that alison, a fine and soothing presence indeed. regards yann |
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