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Open Poetry #46
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viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

0 posted 2010-11-06 12:07 PM


we bled together like you were pulp paper
and I was watery ink that dried strong red
we created what rich lonely folks call art
we just called it tired morning coffee with smiles

fate called us lovers of destiny, god called it his plan
We called it tuesday
with a dance under a rainstorm of flower petals
because we loved the feeling of feeling beautiful together.

your mother was worried at first, calling it too soon
but we both knew that I couldn't make it through life without you
and that you made me laugh like waterfalls

and that has to be what true love is.
___________________
(Blueprint to Happiness series)
It seems I've picked up the pen again.

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

© Copyright 2010 Paul Weisbrod - All Rights Reserved
Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
1 posted 2010-11-06 12:46 PM


Ohh... the last 2 lines are too wonderful~! So touching... loved this whole write, VM  
Best~
Amaryllis

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
2 posted 2010-11-06 12:53 PM


I like that, "Blueprint to happiness."

This is well done with some great unique phrases that truly are memorable. I see the effect on you is becoming wonderful and your heart's spilling it.


Eric

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
3 posted 2010-11-06 08:21 PM


Amaryllis... thank you. I'm glad you liked it!

Eric: Thanks dude! I'm enjoying writing again, which is odd since it's duck season, and I'm so knee deep in a major jeep project.

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

ken206573
Member
since 2008-10-14
Posts 487

4 posted 2010-11-08 06:34 PM


This poem is wonderful, great...I hope to find love like that with my own way of phrasing it.


viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
5 posted 2010-11-08 08:54 PM


Thanks Ken! I'm lucky to have her, and she tolerates me very well.

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
6 posted 2010-11-08 09:33 PM


Very nice! From the title I thought it was going to be a poem like a Groucho Marx line that said, "I'd never join a country club that would have me for a member." Instead I get an excellent love poem.

"we created what rich lonely folks call art
we just called it tired morning coffee with smiles

fate called us lovers of destiny, god called it his plan
We called it tuesday"

Man, those are great lines, which say a lot more that just the words. Love it!

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
7 posted 2010-11-08 10:39 PM


Thanks Balladeer. Appreciate the kindness!

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

Earl Brinkman
Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan
8 posted 2010-11-09 08:53 AM


Sometimes you hit gold when you pick up the pen.  This is one of those occasions.
viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
9 posted 2010-11-10 12:48 PM


Thanks Earl. I appreciate the kinds words.

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
10 posted 2010-11-17 01:47 AM


Paul,

I love this.

A

Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
11 posted 2010-11-17 08:51 AM


Well, well, Mr. Viking.

I enjoyed this! Anyone who refers to themselves as a schmuck is good with me. Bahaha.

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